Viglets

- VIGLETS Two - Ode to Dumbness

Harkin fellow pilgrims
Evolution has taken a new tack
We are no longer a planet of apes
But a planet of dummiesv Ha-La-Lu-Ja.

Viglets Two is dedicated to Dumbness in general and Dummies in particular, along with all the rest who have made being dumb an attractive and successful life style. It is now a scientifically acknowledged fact - dummies have indeed inherited the earth.

Dumbness reigns along with global warming.

The Society for the Advancement of Dummies (SAD) recently announced breaking news that:
Dummies are no longer
On our list of endangered species
Which is great news for all political
Office seekers.

However, curb your enthusiasm and keep in mind:

Though dummies are no longer endangered
They are protected by laws of the land
That mercifully prevent their extermination
So the best we can all do
Is to join and celebrate each other
Because we are all here to stay – as dummies.

Dummies are the happiest people on earth.
They never look back with regret
Their future beckons them with more dumbness
As they gleefully anticipate getting dumber
Life just keeps getting better and better
This of course means dumber and dumber.

Furthermore, and with more appropriate compassion -

Dummies are wonderful people
Neither subtle
Nor complex
What you see
Is what you get!

Dummies enthusiastically embrace dumb slogans that are basically quirky statements showing us paths leading to dumb outcomes.
Remember? “Don’t Shoot Till You See the Whites of Their Bloodshot Eyes” (anti gun controllers); “New Math – Forget Arithmetic” (frustrated parents and teachers); “Lose 53 pounds By Going to the Bathroom - Twice” (Rapid Transit and Home Depot); “No Child Left Behind” (Cruise Line folks and political educators); “No New Taxes” (Freedom buffs); “ Time Heals All Roads” (Highway Pot Hole Departments); “Your Call, Our Church or Hell” (mega churches with big glass windows); “Support Compassionate Capital Punishment for All” (Overseas Drug Lords, Syringe Makers and Texas Governors); “Floss or Die” (ADA); “Neuter Your In-laws” (Society for Family Peace and Harmony); -- on and on. Actually some of these causes are pretty good, but only if you are dumb enough to fathom their deeper messages.

Dummies are never burdened
By cause and effect relationships
Their inspiration comes from Lady Luck
Who often smiles on them.

It is not often that evolutionary and creationist folks can agree, but this time it works. God did plant the “E” tree - but there were problems, He used the wrong kind of fertilizer (over nitrated), overwatered (He repeated this later with First Time Boater Noah) and failed to properly prune it (no prior gardening experience, His Schick was after all Big Kabooms).

Wouldn’t you know it, Big Pharma (plural) has not lost sight of this predicament (they never do) and have now created a sweet, but not too sweet, smelling elixir to apply when your app suffers from “Easily Distracted” (ED) symptoms. You simply spray this yellowish goop on your app and they claim there are few side effect. This is not naughty talk. Without a cure for app ED – evolutionary results are not only dumb – they will be catastrophic for the growth of sorely needed future dummy generations.