Behind Closed Doors
God Brings Life After Abuse
by
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A DAUGHTER’S HEART It all started when I was wondering why I didn’t have my dad. My mom was raising us by herself because he was gone a lot. I thought this was how a family was supposed to be. The truth is that my dad was a really heavy drug addict and alcoholic. He would get violent when he would drink too much. At first my mom drank too. She would even have people over to hang out drinking with her. As soon as she knew my dad was coming home, she would get everyone that she had invited over out of the house, and quickly put us to bed. My mom never knew what state my dad was going to be in when he got home. Since I was older than my two younger sisters, I felt like I had to help my mom. I would stay awake and wouldn’t go to sleep just in case she needed me. Sometimes I would watch from my door and see him beat her. I knew I couldn’t stop it, but I wanted to make sure she was okay. Most of the time, someone called the police to our house. When they came, I would watch my dad be cuffed and taken away. Then when he would get out of jail, my mom would send us to a neighbor or friend’s house to make sure we would be safe because of his anger and abuse. Sometimes when we came home from where we were staying all our valuables would be gone. Things like the television would have been pawned as a result of his drug habits. Frequently, my dad would leave for days at a time. It was a really intense and stressful lifestyle of living on the edge never knowing what would happen next. Each of us was always anxious and fearful of when he would be coming home, and if we knew ahead of time we would try not to be there. I was eight years old when a pastor came to our home and brought a plate of cookies. When he left, my mom sent her drinking buddies home and put us to bed. I stood in the doorway watching as my mom got down on her knees and cried and cried. She was repenting and calling out to God. I knew something was happening in her heart. The next day she got up and I could tell right away she was a totally different person. I watched her throw away all the bottles of alcohol, cigarettes, and all the old music. Before long, she began to tell her party friends about Jesus, and what He had done in her life. My mom encouraged each of them to stop drinking, and put God first in their lives. I stood back and just watched my mother’s life and I was totally amazed to see how different she was. Everything in our lives had changed. Though mom tried to explain to me what the change was all about, I didn’t understand at first, so I just kept watching her. She took me to church where some people talked with me about the Lord. After they explained who He was, and my mom shared that He is who changed her heart, I knew that I wanted what she had just as much. At that moment, I accepted Jesus into my heart too, and couldn’t wait to see what was next for us. We started going to church, and my mother started saying “No” to my dad. The stronger she became, the angrier my dad became. My dad’s life did not change. They separated. Stressed for money, he would come back and claim salvation. He wanted to stay with us and go to church for a while. My mom would believe him every time, even though he only stayed long enough to get all our money and then he’d leave us. She finally told him, “This can’t keep happening. You have to go for good.” Afterwards there were a few episodes of violence. Once he even tried to break in during a thunder storm. He rang the doorbell and positioned himself so we could not see who it was. When the door opened, he overpowered my mom and barged in. Someone called the police for us again. When they arrived, he locked himself in the bathroom and the officers had to break down the door to get him out. When they frisked him, they found drugs on him. That was the final straw for my mom, and she divorced him Later, we moved to another state and we were able to learn a new way of living during this time of increasing in faith. We started growing more and more in the Lord. Now, my mom lets us do what the Lord puts on our hearts- even if it means going to Africa without her. A lot has changed and we have been pursuing the Lord ever since. We no longer live in fear; instead we live in freedom. Our home is filled with laughter, kind words, and peace. Now we are a real family.
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About the Book
Throughout 17 years of teaching inner-city children Bible through Keeping Hope Alive, I have prayed for the mothers of many children. Looking into the face of a mom whose eyes were black as night, I could feel the trauma she had gone through. Even so, this mom lacked the confidence to say no, and to get out of the abusive situation. Another mom we prayed for had been beaten by her boyfriend many times, even hospitalized. However, she always went back to him. One other mom had been beaten repeatedly by her boyfriend. Some days her arms would be covered with bruises, and she always had a hollow look on her face. I would come in each week to teach Bible for the kids who stayed in this hotel. Over time I noticed small changes, gradually she wanted to read Christian books, and study the Bible more. Soon she was setting boundaries and telling her boyfriend no to things that were not appropriate. Even though her life started changing for the better, she still lacked confidence to move completely forward and out of the grip of the abusive boyfriend. After seeing abuse in the lives of mothers over and over again, lacking the confidence to get out of the dangerous situations in which they found themselves, I decided to write this book. Behind Closed Doors shares stories of women who lived in abusive situations, and how God brought them through it to the other side. It is intended to bring hope to them through the realization that God can and will help them through the circumstances they face. He will give them the confidence to keep walking, to keep saying no, and to keep trusting Him to bring them through to a new life on the other side of abuse.
About the Author
As a child, I would lay in bed listening to the trains rush past our farm house in Tennessee while imagining that I was traveling the world. There I was, as young as age four, dreaming of all the countries I would travel to. In 1994, I was given my first opportunity to travel as a missionary to Russia. Since that experience delivering food to missionaries, I have traveled to over 20 different countries ministering to the poor, needy, and the widowed. Looking back on all that God has used me for, I can truly say that I have been to more countries than I ever dreamed of as a child, and done more things than I ever thought to be possible. Today I am not only a missionary- I am a wife, mother of 3, and grandmother of 7 precious children, who still can be found dreaming of more countries to go to as I lay in bed at night. In 2009, I will carry God’s love to orphan children in 8 more countries. My goal this year is to build an orphanage in Kenya, saving over 200 little children whose parents have died from AIDS. Like the Energizer bunny, I will keep going and going and going as long as God prepares the way.