An American Vampire In Jamaica

“Yuh know what then Rufus, mek mi ask yuh a few more things, just to mek sure that yuh head alright!” Benji said, while sitting on the ground to talk to him again.

“So, is that the only thing that you remember?”

“Yeeees Benji!”

“So yuh noh remember where yuh live?”

“Nooooo Benji!”

“So yuh noh remember the lawn mower mi did borrow from yuh?”

“Nooooo Benji!”

“So yuh noh remember where yuh work now?”

“Nooooo Benji!”

“Oh good, good!” Benji replied, while showing a big smile on his face.

“So that means that yuh noh remember nothing about the hundred dollar that mi did borrow from yuh last week then?”

“Oh Yeaaah! That, I surely do remember!”

“Shut the hell up!” Benji replied. “Yuh love money too damn much!”

“With yuh damn greedy self!”

“Anyway Rufus, mek mi tek some of these leaves off of you to see if yuh will feel any better, because it’s really, really late now, and I know that me done dead already!”

“I never go home this late before inna mi whole life. I always had to crawl through the bathroom window whenever I reach home late — even when mi reach much, much earlier than this — so now it certainly looks like mi have to crawl through the blastid roof!”

“There was this one time when mi did nearly reach home this late, and I had to sleep by my cousin’s house for nearly two months after mi wife call mi pon mi cellular and tell mi that I shouldn’t bother to come home ever again.”