THE BELLFLOWER TENET
Once Denise and Kyle embraced the writing of their wedding vows, the promises to be made to each other on the day of their wedding, they began to focus on what was truly important to them.
Their conversations often made the needle on the dial point to “what’s important,” a seemingly logical destination in thought. When their discussion got muddled up in things they wanted or needed to say or do, Kyle would often say, “… so what’s important now”? The answer to that question would invariably lead to the issue or task, which was the most immediate priority.
In terms of their future together, defining “what’s important,” was central to writing the tenets of their wedding vows. It would usually start with Denise asking questions, and her quizzical probes were never taken lightly by Kyle.
Kyle welcomed all of Denise’s questions and gave serious thought to every answer. Meeting Denise’s edict that they never take anything for granted, discussing the elemental aspects of their relationship was worthy of some rather thought-provoking discourse.
Kyle’s supposition was, … all too often, a person will assume the feelings of another, content to say the words, “I love you.” For Denise and Kyle, words mattered, but only when the words are allowed to flourish in their hearts and their deeds.
Denise and Kyle, friends, playful, romantic in budding ways, almost childlike at times, were very serious about examining the fabric of their relationship. As Denise confided, the scope of their love often felt overpowering as it reached into the depths of her heart, opening doors of feeling and understanding she never knew existed. Beautiful, yet unsettling, Kyle touched her soul, not a common component for a couple, just being in love. At times, Denise referred to the dynamic of Kyle’s love for her as “unnerving,” but it was that medley of connecting emotions and previously unopened doors that required careful thought and understanding.
Nothing stays the same, especially in relationships and the love one might feel for another. Unless there is a conscious effort to build on that friendship and expand one’s love, erosion may begin to wear away at a relationship.
In that understanding, both asked the other some foundational questions of each other by which they could build a greater understanding … a more splendid friendship … an ever-evolving love … and a more perfect us as symbolized by Denise’s 3-diamond engagement ring.
On a day worth noting, Denise had scheduled a doctor’s appointment, so she didn’t plan to go into work at all that day. She asked Kyle to meet her for an early morning coffee at this cute diner on Spring Garden Street before Kyle went to his office. He rearranged his schedule and met her at the diner. Thinking that this was just a wonderful way to start their day, Denise had a very specific purpose for meeting. For a few days, she had wanted to talk face to face with Kyle with some rather specific questions in mind. As they sat side by side in a booth, Denise felt that it was essential to ask Kyle a few basic questions that had been occupying her thoughts.
She began, “Why did you keep looking for me after high school. I still don’t understand. All those years, I could have been dead or living in Massachusetts or Florida”.
“After all, I have told you,” Kyle answered, “You need a better explanation”?
Denise nodded, “I guess I do. I want to know how this unbelievable love between us could have been created in such an unpredictable world and why you didn’t quit looking for me”.
Kyle needed only to look into her eyes, and the answer to her question poured out, “From the first moment I saw you, my world changed forever. I didn’t understand it. It wasn’t some teenage sexual thing. You didn’t say a word to me at first. I don’t think you ever saw me. You just walked by, but it was like someone turned on the lights in my life. Since you asked, let me put it this way, from a lesson I remember from high school.
Scientists say that when light hits the retina in the eye, special cells turn the light into signals to the brain, and all types of wonderful images, textures, and colors flood your thoughts. When I first saw you with my eyes, the signals my brain received were permanent. There was no fear, no anxiety, whatever emptiness was there was filled. What I felt could not be defined with simple words like good, bad, up, or down. The only word that defined you was … Denise.
When I first heard your voice, my ears longed to receive the sounds, no matter the words. Listening to you for me was loving you, and I came to understand love through the sound of your voice.
Since those twelve plus years ago, my eyes have seen thousands of people, and not one photoreceptor in my brain was ever so altered like the forever imprint you pressed upon my mind. Equally monumental, the sound of your voice is the singing of my soul. I hear the notes of the letters to words to statements that have brought me confidence, courage, comfort, and the all-consuming love that makes you … THE ONE”.
Kyle concluded, “Why did I keep looking for you? Each of us seeks our heart’s desire, and you, my Denise, have always been my desire in countless ways. More than that, you own my heart, and I desire she who holds my heart in her hands. I would have climbed over any obstacle or any person until my final hour, to find you”.
Kyle ranted on, “Now with all of that clearly articulated… Do you still want to marry me”?
As Denise looked on through Kyle’s answer to her question, her luminous eyes never leaving his, she whispered, “More than ever.”
Denise had much to say, a lot warming her heart, “Kyle, we need to write a tenet in the vows that speaks to making each day like today, filled with love in words and things that we think and do. The vows must begin with what matters most every day of our lives and that we keep that tenet fresh and thriving each day”.
Agreeing with Denise, Kyle suggested, “Denni let us look and learn from the creations of God. Let us be as a perennial flower, a Bellflower, that remains green through the coldest seasons. As many have said of the Bellflower, they represent affection, humility, and everlasting love. The Bellflower’s beauty is always in a whisper, never in boisterous display. So too, our love began with a whisper of a kiss and blossoms daily in our hearts”.
Denise was listening intently, smiling and almost letting loose with a few witty comments, relative to Kyle’s flower metaphor, but threw herself into the spirit that was absorbing them. Denise reached into Kyle’s inside jacket pocket, pulled out his pen, and said, “Let’s write this.”
Denise proclaimed, “Kyle, I want you to see me with the eyes that found something about me that I still don’t fully believe is there, but I want you to never lose that. As for me, I wish to promise that every day I shall look at you as I see you now, a beautiful man in every way”.
His eye’s skied to the heavens, his hands together as if praying; Kyle added, “Let us begin each day, seeing only beauty in each other, cherishing the smiles of little joys and large triumphs.”
With pen in hand on a paper napkin, together they wrote their “Bellflower Tenet”, …
“We vow to look at each other with eyes that see only beauty, adoring each smile, on every day, for always.”