Didactic Essays
From a piece of dark matter, somewhere in the Milky Way?
by
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“Aaaaaaamen good Lordie. Aaaaaaaamen have mercy.” Oh, hi there. You caught me in the middle of one of those singing thoughts. How embarrassing. If you could see me right now, I’m turning bright red. I know this is only my third scientific book, but I should have known better than to start a book without a coherent thought, thesis, or non-thesis. There you have it. The beginning of my book…Whammy! I know you’re impressed because I’m COMPLETELY shocked. Mostly because I have no clue as to where I’m going with all these words: Words to fill up pages, pages to fill up books, and books to fill up my shelves. WAIT. I don’t have any shelves and I think that was my first micro-thesis: This is not TV because you can’t see my blush and there is an abundance of words. Miniature brainfart on the micro-thesis? And now, a new paragraph.
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About the Book
How you-all doing?! When I say words, you say definitions! Words…(Silence) I can’t hear you! Words…(Crickets). Wow, tough crowd. Have you ever noticed that the universe is arranged as a spectrum of battery systems? (Silence and cough) So did you guys here the one about the electron that walked into a bar so that it could see the bar? (Silence) You know, an electron doesn’t release photons unless it is stimulated. Get it? (Frog – Robot, Rooooobots) What? Can’t a brother get a heckler up in this hizzy? (Silence) Did someone ask a what-what is this book about? (Silence) Seriously, I throw a what-what out there and nothing? (Silence) Fine, I’ll just talk about the contents of this book. There are a lot of words, a couple sentences, two or more paragraphs, some science, a whole-lot of scientific satire, a few meaningless definitions, and some New Age Adages. Are you happy now? Peace Out! (A microphone drops to the floor.)
About the Author
I began my formal education at the grand old school of Bowling Green State University, which is nestled in the heart of mid-west Ohio in a small town called Bowling Green. Bowling Green is best known of the annual Black Swam Festival. After changing my major numerous times, I graduated with a degree in biology. While at BGSU, I found my first passion: Organic Chemistry. Subsequently, I continued on at BGSU to get a masters in Chemistry. I briefly worked in the private sector at IGEN Inc. in Gaithersburg Maryland, as an inorganic chemist. Granted, inorganic chemistry might sound anti-organic, but 'in' is just a prefix. In truth, inorganic chemistry is just organic chemistry hooped-up on metals. I returned to college at the grand old college of Ohio University, which is surrounded by the hills of southern Ohio in a town called Athens. Athens is best known for the Halloween extravaganza that brings students from all over the state of Ohio. Although I did not graduate from OU, I have a few fond memories of the iconic town. In particular, I have fond memories of Perks coffee shop where I spent countless night scribbling away on my first book, Dreamstar. Upon relocating to Galveston Texas, I found brief employment at Starbucks and continued to write. My second book, Bibbles of Spuce-tame, was originally published in 2009 and is slated to return to the market. Currently, I reside in Houston with my two cats and continue to write. Hopefully, you'll enjoy my second passion;-)