Was I Really That Boy?

The drum was cooking lovely it was bowing out in all directions and you could hear the paint inside becoming liquid again, the metal on the drum was creaking and groaning. Then with a terrific explosion that shook the ground the lid flew off high into the air closely followed by an eruption of bright yellow paint. The explosion was so severe that it killed all the flames of the fire instantly. I watched in amazement as the bright yellow paint hurled itself upwards and then in even more amazement as it started heading towards earth straight in the direction of Grannies poor dog Prince. Who after hearing the explosion decided a hasty retreat was the order of the day, well as hasty as he could make it. It seemed as though everything went into slow motion, the dog was running, (well sort of, plodding quite fast was the best that poor old Prince could do). The bright yellow paint was heading earthward and just as though the dog had a big paint magnet on its back the yellow paint contacted with the back of the dog. The old black, white and greying dog was taking on the a hew of a bright sunny day as though in slow motion he became covered in bright yellow paint. Why did it always happen to me, why did the stupid dog have to come and watch? Why? The dog now was disappearing rapidly in the direction of the farm- house, as luck had it I knew Granny was out shopping as I had seen her drive off in her car earlier.

Time for operation “Cover up”, I took the remnants of the yellow paint drum from the fire and hid it behind a Hayrick. I then threw dust and dirt all over the yellow paint on the ground and around the fire. I then hid all the other paint tins I had exploded, it now looked as though only a fire had been there which of coarse the men started to burn rubbish. Now for the biggest problem of all, one bright yellow coloured dog.

After several ideas, one of which was to take the dog to the police station and complain that some evil person had painted my Grannies favourite dog yellow.

This idea I quickly had to disregard as firstly the dog would not come within twenty feet of me and secondly I remembered the Police station was over four miles away. What could I do? Suddenly it came to me. There was some bright yellow paint still in the drum if it had not solidified yet, I would find an old paint tin that had not been burned too bad, put yellow paint it, leave the door to the workshop wide open, put the tin of paint on the bench. Then I would tip the tin over on its side so it looked as the dog had thought there was food in the paint tin, jumped up on its hind legs, nudged it with his nose and then tipped the tin of paint over on himself, perfect. Sometimes I think I am brilliant and other times I know I am not just brilliant I am a genius.

I found not to badly burnt paint tin, now to find a lid that fitted, this took quite a time as the lids I found had been distorted by the explosions. I eventually found one that with a little persuasion, namely me hammering and jumping on it, fitted the paint tin quite well. Well in a fashion. I then poured the yellow paint in the can until it was over half full and placed it just as I had planned, spilling some paint on the floor as well for maximum effect. I even run paint down the sides of the tin so as to cover up any burn marks, it now looked as though it had run down the sides of the tin when the men were using it. With everything in place the crime scene was set. Perfect!

Now for my alibi, I quickly went down the field and into the woods close to where the men were working baling hay. I waited for the men to be looking the other way as they were travelling down the field. I then climbed a tree on the edge of the wood close to were they were baling and when they came towards me I moved so they could see me and made out I had been there for ages. As the men, one of which was my Uncle Aubrey; came past the tree I was in, I shouted “Hi their Uncle.”  “How long have you been up there?” he asked. “Most of the afternoon” was my reply. “Well I did not see you.” “That’s because this is the first tree I have climbed on the edge of the wood as I have been looking for Pigeons nests. I’ve found three with eggs in you know. Can I ride on the tractor with you for a bit?” I said trying to deflect the conversation before it got too awkward. “Of coarse you can” he replied.