It's Just a Matter of Respect!!
What does Real Love Truly Mean to Us?
by
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I look back on my behavior with
men, in a way of wanting more in my heart
I wanted more just communicating what I felt. I thought if they would just love me I would
feel better, in all I wanted just to be at peace, but not voicing it to
them. I miss the love I deserve because
I have not found it yet. I wondered many
times why is it that I love those old songs back in the 50’s, 60’s, and 70’s,
from the Delfonics, the Stylistics, and the Dells,
who sang about Giving their Baby a Standing Ovation, or So In Love With You! As
well as La La Means I Love you. I love those songs, then and now. But I always wondered why I was so drawn to
the lyrics of the way they sang. Not because
they were love songs but, how they expressed themselves about the women involved. I then always found myself, looking at
pictures of Black Love and how the man or woman seemed to put their mates on a
high level of majesty! Honoring them
because they were of some importance to them.
They showed this is my love. I
really adore that type of art. Why? Then the movies that women always struggled
and survived the odds, like the movie, Enough, or The Color Purple, or even
Waiting to Exhale. I was wondering why I
was so drawn to these kinds of movies, pictures, and songs. Was I lacking those things in my life? Did I search for this and never find it? All through the years I lived in eternal
pain, many people did not know. I smiled
in many people’s face, and it was killing me inside. A marriage that was a joke! I was
abused, and made to feel I was
nothing but a fat piece of flesh! Every
moment and everyday I wondered if I would live another day. I slept nightly with a knife. I tried to tell my family, but, I was always
the problem, not anyone else! One of my
sister’s saw things a little different in her eyes because she was in the dark
about our life. She was made to feel extra special therefore why would she see
the pain I went through? But why was I left and ignored out of the three? That is one question I really can’t answer. All I know is this: I became the type of child, teenager, and
adult still looking for love in all the wrong places. Not looking even further than the obvious to
make me whole. I thought many of the men
in my life would. The friends I chose
were not as dedicated as I was. I
thought bringing what I did to the table would help me to understand me, but
whom was I kidding? The reality behind
it all was, I was searching and searching within my own being to find what I
didn’t long ago. What was the problem
with me? I had to finally come to my
inner being where the Kingdom of God Laid and depended on his every mood to get
me through the phases of my Spiritual growth!
As I look back on the many
situations I found myself in and the people I chose to share my love with, I
don’t know if I would change a thing at all.
I know for the most part, I had to crawl before I walked, sucked a
bottle before I drank from a glass and moved in a swinging direction before I
stood straight! I love the Lord and I
knew I would make it!
As I continue this journey I am
on called LIFE, I am feeling my way through this culture I have lived with and
learning to be a 100% a strengthened individual. I look upon the earth with different eyes. I see people in a
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Book Details
About the Book
This book is about some of the
author’s life growing up as a neglected child, and being abused by many
relationships, not just from her family, but many of the people in her inner
circle. She describes the pain she
endured throughout the years growing up as the youngest child feeling she was
not as important in her family leaving her feeling left out in many ways. A rape causing her to give birth 9 months
later without knowing she was even pregnant for the first eight and a half
months, and how all the pain she suffered took a toll on her many years later
mentally as well as physically.
The abusive relationships she
endured trying to find the one thing missing from her life, (love) from
different men and women friends who turned her life into a living
nightmare! And, how
respect does not play a role in many people’s life.
This book also shows lessons for
many who have suffered several forms of abuse growing up, on how to over come
the pain by moving forward and praying.
She adds more of a touch with many prayers as well as poetry for the
readers to relate to and use for themselves.
About the Author
Paulette G. Cohen Known as
“inspiration” was born in
As an active member of The
Abyssinian Baptist Church for many years, she has learned a lot, and, how to
accept Christ throughout her Spiritual Journey.
“We are a nation of Spirits
trying to find our way home, (Heaven) the best place to be!” Inspiration
She has written two other books,
which have been out in the last two years, and just finished her fourth
novel. She reaches out to many, offering
her hand from her heart for all to hold.
Throughout her life, she has been
through a lot, she says, “Made me who I am”.
Still praying for answers too much of what is out there, she vows to get
it right. “ I
want to help all of God’s children find their own hidden identity that may be
shielding them from the reality in life”.