The Internal Outlook

A few years ago I began writing a diary. I intended to record my thoughts on the events affecting my life the most, so I could better process how I felt about them and reflect more accurately. Although I had never journaled before, as a (former) lyricist, writing songs was a comparative therapeutic vessel for expression that captured my thoughts and feelings at a specific time, however, free from the confines of song format, journaling meant I was able to dig deeper into the details of my mind. As I continued to write as part of my journal, I started to recognise the benefits of my transcription of thought and the subsequent process of self-analysis, and now, when I feel something meaningful is occurring in my life, I find myself anticipating how I will review these moments as part of my mental dictation. Since my experience was overwhelmingly constructive, I wondered how common it was for my peers to keep a journal. After anecdotal feedback from friends, family and acquaintances, the general response was that it was not common at all, so naturally, I wanted to unearth the reasons why. I initially theorised that it could be, in some part, due to the following reasons: firstly, people are not aware of what introspection is or how it can be helpful. Secondly, and perhaps because of the first reason, people view writing a diary as childish or immature. And thirdly, people are not confident in their ability to express their thoughts and feelings through the written word, even privately. After further contemplation, the theoretical reason that made the most sense is that people are generally reluctant to be introspective and self-analytical, perhaps due to fear of what they may uncover. As with any growth, it does not come without discomfort. Being truly introspective and using that understanding to interact with the society you inhabit can be as distressing as it is informative, so you need a certain level of bravery to achieve its full impact. Based on these initial musings, I conducted surveys to discover public attitudes toward introspection and if my initial suspicions were accurate. Of all the questions asked as part of the survey, the most relevant to the investigation was if people had ever written a diary as an adult, and, irrespective of whether respondents had or not, it was the variety of rationales that presented the most insight. “I have not [written a diary] for a number of reasons,” said a respondent. “For whatever reason, when I think of writing in a diary I think it's a bit of a 'new-age' type of idea that costs more time than it's worth. I do think I unintentionally take some time to reflect on my life, which is a bit like writing in a diary. The real difference is you can read back on it.” This attitude toward self-analysis is quite astonishing. Reflecting on your life “unintentionally” and setting aside time to focus on introspection are very different experiences and cannot be compared in terms of usefulness. Having a transcript of your thoughts makes it easier to analyse what they represent rather than relying on our fallible memory. Furthermore, it saddens me that this respondent believes it “costs more time than it's worth” to be introspective and attempt to learn as much about themselves as possible. Philosophy and psychology have studied the significance of self-knowledge for a long time, and you will find it more difficult to understand others and the world around you if you cannot first understand yourself. This illustration of negligence can create an environment for seemingly unexplainable behaviour, as seen in this other respondent's comment when they explained: “At the moment, my relationship with myself is ropey. I've made some interesting decisions recently that I am not proud of and I don’t understand why. Self-sabotage is real.” Yes, self-sabotage is real, which is why activities that encourage introspection should be integrated into our habits. As an adult, if you do not understand your decision-making, should that be deemed potentially hazardous? Naturally, we all have instances of reactive behaviour but why not strive to understand as much as possible about why you make decisions thereafter? Have you ever reflected on an incident and wondered why you acted the way you did? Being introspective prepares you to question and explore your thoughts and actions in an attempt to understand why you think and, therefore, act in distinct ways.