Brooklyn, The Way I Remember It

It was a Saturday night, and Marie and I along with my friends Sal Cavelli and his girlfriend, Cathy went to the Bay Lounge to dance and have some drinks. We left around 2:00 a.m. and stopped at the Galaxy Diner to have some breakfast. We were sitting in a booth and the girls excused themselves to go the powder room. As they exited the Ladies room, they passed by a booth that contained three wise guys. I saw a couple of the guys talking and laughing with the girls. I saw Marie shake her head and she appeared disgusted by something that was said to her. When they returned, I asked them what the guys had said. Marie answered, "Don't worry about it, they're just stupid." I replied, "I didn't hear what they said, but I know they made a derogatory statement to you both. I'm going to go over to them and make them apologize to you for what they said." Sal interjected, "Forgot about it. Don't start no shit." I answered, "I’m not going to start no shit. I am just going to have them apologize to Marie and Cathy." I walked over to them and said, "I think you guys owe the girls an apology." One of them said, "Fuck you" and I said, "No, it’s fuck you!" I picked up the lead crystal sugar dispenser and I smashed it into his forehead. One of the other guys went to stand up and I crowned him on his head with it and knocked him unconscious. The third guy also started to get up and I cracked him in the jaw with it. Then I commenced to banging the shit out of the two that were still conscious. The cops then showed up and arrested me. I didn't really care that they arrested me; I was more concerned about my GTO, so I asked one of the cops to pull my keys out of my pocket and give it to Sal so that he could drive it to his house. When I arrived at the precinct, they fingerprinted me and before they locked me up, one of the cops asked me, "Okay, tough guy, whadya got to tell me?" I answered, "Go fuck yourself. I want to call my lawyer." Later on that morning, my lawyer showed up and the first thing he did was inquire as to what I had said upon my arrest and I told him. He was relieved that I had said nothing and he bailed me out. Three months later, we go to trial and I'm in the courtroom and the judge calls Marie and Cathy as witnesses. They both testified as to exactly what the guys had said to them. This was the first time we all heard what was said. When the judge learned that these wise guys had made some very filthy sexual innuendos to them, he was incensed. He suggested that the girls go down the hall and press charges against them for defamation of character. Then the judge starts pouring over all the medical records of the three guys. He looked across the courtroom at me and asked how long it had taken me to do the damage that I had done. I answered, "Your Honor, I don't know, maybe a couple of minutes as they got me little mad." Then he asked me, "What would you have done if they had gotten you really mad?" I replied, "Your Honor, we wouldn't be sitting in a courtroom, we'd be sitting in a funeral home." At that, my lawyer almost shit his pants. He couldn't believe I had said that. The judge looked at the three plaintiffs and addressed them with a disgusted look on his face and bawled them out. He turned towards me and said, "Mr. DeLorenzo, if you can't control that temper of yours, I suggest you seek out professional help. If I ever see your face in my courtroom again, you will go away for a long time!" Upon that, he hit the gavel down on his desk and dismissed the case.