Douggie Barker was born at a very young age in a little town just outside of Wedlock, which is nestled in the beautiful countryside of the southern part of the United Kingdom. His parents were ordinary, working-class people, but Douggie managed to secure himself a place in one of the elite grammar schools of the time. It was there that he developed his first taste for writing. On at least six occasions, he had to stay after school and write out five hundred times, “I must not talk in class”! Slowly, his vocabulary and use of grammar improved until, at the age of seventeen, he was able to write down a whole original sentence without any help. I guess it’s been downhill ever since. It’s a miracle this book ever got published at all!
Catch Mumps at the Boot Sale is Douggie’s first masterpiece. It is a work of fiction based on umpteen facts. Douggie has dined out many times on some of the more humorous anecdotes contained within these pages. Now retired, he lives with his fourth wife, Pamela Helen. Sadly, his first three wives died of mushroom poisoning. Fortunately, Pamela doesn’t like mushrooms! To his knowledge, he has only one daughter, Beth, and also one stepson, Robert. His credentials are as follows:
• one Boy Scout fire-lighting badge
• one Boy Scout bedmaking badge
• five gold certificates for the egg-and-spoon race (infants’ division). I have it on good authority that Douggie used to glue the egg to the spoon!
Ten per cent of all royalties from the sale of this book will go to the Mumps Benevolence Fund, so please buy a few copies!