Kaleidoscopes

Lakshmi held his dear face close to hers and whispered, “It’s going to be ok.” “Akka”, he repeated brokenly, “Akka”. “Shhh, little brother, my chinna”, she said. My chinna. Hearing his elder sister and ever loyal champion’s endearment for him ever since he was a little boy brought out the tears he had been holding back. He quickly turned his face away but it broke her heart to see the drops drenching his beautifully curling lashes. She turned his face around to her and, trying to still the quivering in her voice, said, “Remember. I’ll be waiting for you to come home next year. Amma and Appa will be waiting too.” “OK,” he whispered, trying not to think of his parents just now. She could not read his eyes. “And take care of yourself for me. Promise?” He nodded wordlessly. He should have been taking care of her, he thought in silent anguish. She looked up and with the other hand beckoned Kevin who was hanging back to come closer. He moved forward one step, but stopped. She turned from Raj and walked towards Kevin. He waited with his heart thundering in his ears, not able to move. She surprised him by pushing aside the hand he tentatively held out, and gave him a quick impulsive hug. The shock at this uncharacteristic open display of affection was clear on his face. He returned the hug awkwardly and quickly stepped back. She looked into his blue-grey eyes and smiled, “Thank you, Kevin”. “For what?” he asked brushing his hand across his eyes. “For being there when I needed someone. For teaching me to believe in myself. For simply being you.” “Lakshmi, I wish …, If only I could have…,” he stumbled. But she shook her head and said, “Shh, no if onlys. I am so glad I met you. You’ve been the best friend I could have hoped to find. Don’t shake your head. You must believe me. I know how much you love me, and I you. That is enough. And because of that, I am a stronger person and don’t dread going back any more. My only worry is Raju. Please look after him. He is fragile.” “Yes.” He said in a choked voice. His intense eyes, more blue than grey today in the sunshine, pierced her heart as they had done when she had first looked at him and made her fall in love with him. She had to quickly turn away. She took her cabin bag from Raju and gave him one last hug. “Akka. You look after yourself too, please.” “I will, Raju. Don’t worry about me. I’m ok now. I’m going back to start my life again. No more white saris for me. Look, I’m wearing colours now.” She said as she touched his gift pinned onto her shoulder. She turned away quickly pulling the little case behind her. She knew they were standing there watching her walk away and willing her to turn back. She raised one hand in a thumbs-up gesture and kept walking. She did not want either of them to see the tears coursing down her face.