Just Give Me 10 Minutes
A Family’s Plea for Returning Warriors
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As I share the story of my family’s journey over the last seven years, the phrase “Just give me 10 minutes” comes to mind in almost every single scenario that has affected us to levels that we cannot comprehend. Our journey as a family started long before that shot on Christmas Day. We had already been through trials that would have dissolved most families and came out on the other side stronger because of the trial. I will continue to hold on to the memory of that strength as my family navigates the new normal that we struggle to embrace. My story is that of a mom faced with the same struggles that most of us face as our children leave the home to choose their path in life. We devote our time and energy into developing these wonderful children into strong, confident adults that will have a positive impact on society and are a reflection of the family that they leave behind. Moms and dads from the very beginning of time have faced the challenges of filtering their lives into their children’s lives to allow only goodness and strength to travel with them as they leave home. We struggle with wishing for a “delete” button to eliminate any signs of weakness or a display of bad choices, never realizing that it takes every single event in our life to define us. When our children are young and showing their personalities to levels that we cannot control, it is easy to get those “10 minutes”. Most of us parents call that “time out”. When you send the child to time out, it gives you 10 minutes to prepare your course of discipline. It also gives the child 10 minutes to think of what he or she has done and how important it really is to begin with. Those 10 minutes can make a world of difference in the outcome of any situation. Much to my dismay, the time out concept ends way before the children grow up and leave the house.
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About the Book
“Gail has an incredible perspective as the mother of an injured Corpsman who suffers from PTSD. At the Armed Forces Foundation, we believe families serve too and Gail’s journey is one necessary to tell. When I first met Gail six years ago at Bethesda, I was immediately taken in by her warmth and generosity. She’s a natural and gifted storyteller who deserves far more than 10 minutes.” —Patricia Driscoll, President of the Armed Forces Foundation Christmas Day 2006. Dustin Edward Kirby was serving his second tour in Iraq. The dreaded phone call came; Dusty had “received small arms enemy fire.” This is a first-hand account of how this event changed Dustin’s life and the lives of his family, and their seven year struggle to understand not only the physical trauma inflicted by his injury, but also the symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. The physical impact of the injury was critical as the armor piercing bullet travelled through his face. The emotional and psychological impacts have been debilitating. This is the story of a family making every attempt to find a way to give their hero the reasons that he needs to live...every single day.
About the Author
I am Gail Kirby and I share my life with my husband of 31 years, Jack and my three grown children, and three grandchildren. My youngest son, Daniel, is 25 years old, has an Associate’s degree in Graphic Design. He is pursuing a career as a firefighter. My daughter, Destiny is 28 years old and has a Bachelor's degree in Healthcare Administration. My oldest son, Dusty is medically retired from the United States Navy after being critically injured in Iraq on Christmas Day 2006.
The physical injuries that he sustained because of the armor-piercing bullet that travelled through his face on that day were critical, but can never equate to the fear and life changing events that manifested after he returned home. My son suffers from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and as a family, we have struggled with the reasons that he needs on a daily basis to want to live.
Our story is the story of a family that made a sacrifice for a country that we love and supported without question. There are moments in our lives now that we are filled, not with regret for our sacrifice, but questions. We struggled with questions about how to help him. We struggled even more with questions on how to help us, the family that loved him so much and wanted nothing more than for him to be able to celebrate his homecoming with us, his family.
The stress of the deployments and having a loved one so far away, facing imminent danger on a daily basis, on our behalf is life changing. Receiving the call that the bullet that had been fired from the enemy on that day had your loved one's name on it and it hit its target is mind numbing. The events that follow are debilitating.
PTSD claims the life of a veteran every 65 minutes, every single day at the rate of 22 veteran suicides every day. These young men and women have made the sacrifice to leave their families and their homes and face the enemy in our stead. They have seen things that we can never understand; they have experienced things that we can never conceive. It is because of the sacrifice of my son and so many others just like him that I am able to enjoy the freedoms of living in the greatest country in the world. I have shared our story to raise awareness of this crisis and gain support in helping this generation of warriors know how grateful we are as a nation for the sacrifice that made on our behalf.