Love times 7

At the corner of Broadway and 86th Street was a sedate upscale cocktail lounge furnished with rich leather couches and large easy chairs. We found a spot in the rear and placed our orders. She took a Hennessey but I opted for a black Sambuca.

“So, tell me about you, Roth,” she said. “There’s something very strange about you and while I doubt anyone else at the dealership has noticed it, I’m not sure that you are who you say you are. Please be honest with me.”

“Why?” I replied. “Why do you need to know about my past?”

“Because, Roth, as absurd as it may be, I find myself becoming attracted to you.”

I was flabbergasted. “What you don’t know Cindy,” I answered, “is that I’ve been attracted to you too since we first met. I’m happy to hear that the feelings are mutual.”

“Well, I don’t want to make any mistakes or waste a lot of time that I don’t have. Please tell me all about yourself. Tell me what apparently nobody else understands. Tell me something I don’t know.”

I wasn’t sure what to say. There was no way in the world she was going to even begin to believe the truth. I decided I would sparse the reality of the situation with some truths. I continued to think of how and what I would tell her but she spoke first.

“You didn’t really attend Kansas State College, did you? I checked you out and they have no record of you ever being a student there. So what’s up with that?”

She was waiting for an answer and I had to think fast. I put my drink on the table and took both her hands in mine. “Cindy,” I said, “I’m not the kind of man who chooses to deceive. You happen to be very perceptive in your thinking… certainly more than anyone else at the dealership. I know that if you and I are to have any future, I’d have to be truthful with you. And that is something I want very much. I could tell you everything but I cannot for reasons that you would not understand. Perhaps, when and if we get to know each other longer, and a whole lot better, I will be able to tell you so much more and delve into areas that will have you believe me because you know and trust me more than you do now. Also, I will need to trust you completely and to do that I must know you to a much greater degree, trust you….and perhaps love you too. Can you understand what I’m trying to say?”

She was quiet for a few minutes and sipped her cognac from the snifter. “OK. I want to believe you but you must show me that you have some confidence in me. Tell me one important thing about your past and I will not ask you for more until we know each other better.”

“I’ll tell you two things because I want to be truthful with you and I do believe in full disclosure at all times. First of all, I’m from a place you’ve never heard of, from a land you never heard of and possibly never will. Second, I know that everyone at work thinks I’m 34 years old but where I come from I’m considered middle-aged. The truth be told, I’m 64.”

Mp> She let go of my hands, picked up her drink and quickly emptied the glass into her mouth.

“Goodnight, Roth,” she said, abruptly. “You’re either a liar or you’re crazy. Either way, I’m outta here.”

Ten minutes later I was on the crosstown bus, alone.

A week later, on a Tuesday, I was sitting on a bench in Riverside Park eating a sandwich for lunch, watching the private boats in the marina when I looked up and saw Cindy standing in front of me.

“Harvey told me I’d probably find you here,” she said. “I think we should talk.”

I slid over and made room for her. “Would you like half of my roast beef hero?” I asked.

“Roth,” she said as she sat down, ignoring my offer. “I can’t seem to stop thinking about you and wanted you to know that. I also can’t help but wonder why you deliberately sabotaged what might have been the beginning of a wonderful relationship. I need to know why you did that.”

I thought for a moment, searching my mind for the right reply and knowing I might get only one chance at it. I put my sandwich down on the bench on my other side. “Cindy,” I began, “If you had something to tell me that you knew I would be unable to comprehend, what would you do? How would you go about explaining it to me so that I believed you?”

Cindy thought it over and said, “I guess I would just tell you the absolute truth and expect that you cared enough to take everything I said as the truth, even though you might not be able to understand it. In other words, Roth, I wouldn’t bullshit you about anything at all.”

“And,” I continued, “what would you then do if I just got up and walked away thinking that you were either delusional or a terrible liar?”

“Point well made, Roth. Are you either?”

“No, I’m not. I do care for you and have missed you very much since that night on Broadway. I’ve racked my brain trying to think of a way of making you understand that I never lie, I’m not crazy and I want very much to see a relationship between us work out.”

Cindy looked out at the boats. I could nearly hear her thinking. “Okay,” she finally said. “I wasn’t sure I was going to say this but, what the hell. I want to hear everything you have to say. I promise to listen and so that I can’t get frustrated and walk out on you again, why don’t you come over to my apartment Saturday evening and I’ll make dinner for the two of us. Then, over coffee, I want to hear every truth no matter how much you think I will not understand it. Do we have a date?”

She walked away as I sat in a happy daze wondering if there was anything I should hold back when we talked. I decided that for better or worse, if I wanted the relationship to move even an inch further, I would have to tell her everything.

Her reaction, on the other hand, was something I never would have expected.