New Plays From New York
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TO BUTTZVILLE AND BEYOND by Jeanne Chenault Porter Characters: Aldon Moore: middle-aged, well-to-do, father and lawyer Celia Moore: middle-aged, well-dressed mother, wife of Aldon Chris Moore: about 27 years old, handsome, well educated, history teacher Tom Klinefelter: an intelligent and sensitive young photographer in his late 20’s from Altoona, Pa. Claire Tressler: a pleasant and attractive public school teacher, in her mid to late twenties Bertha Bold: the plump, loud, and friendly school bus driver, in her 50’s Alison, Tom’s girlfriend Fred: the laconic local handyman in his late 50’s (Voice of Pastor Ted) ACT I: Scene 1 The time is the present. It is a late summer afternoon. Celia and Aldon Moore are in their elegant Park Ave. apartment in New York City. They are discussing their son Chris’ recent and sudden departure to central Pennsylvania where he will teach history in a public high school. (strident classical music plays on the radio: Beethoven’s String Quartet, No. 14, Opus 131, in C# minor, 7th movement) Celia: (She is sitting at the computer)I’m glad we came back from Southampton today to see Chris off. I could tell he was putting on a brave front. Here it is! Look at this, Aldon. Chris just emailed. He has finally arrived in Snowball, Pennsylvania. (Aldon suddenly drops his Wall Street Journal and turns off the radio) Aldon: (disgusted) Snowball! Rediculous! (sarcastically)I wonder how it got that name? Celia: Well, he did take his skis.(smiles) Aldon: Not funny, Celia. That poor kid. How long did it take him? Celia: Let’s see. He says 5 hours instead of 4 because he got caught in a downpour in, get this!,Buttzville, New Jersey. It’s just before you get to the Pennsylvania border. (She sees Aldon’s disgust and laughs)No, I’m not making this up! Aldon: (smiles slightly)Grotesque and very Germanic… but amusing nevertheless. I assume there was once a famous (or infamous) founder named Buttz! Celia: Wait, there’s more. Oh, no! He had to eat lunch at a place called Hot Dog Johnny’s! (she winces)It was the only restaurant in town. I’m really surprised he did that. You know what a health nut he is! Aldon: Don’t we all? Celia: I hope his apartment is decent. He insisted on renting a couple of rooms in a house. Found the ad on line. Seems he doesn’t even have a real kitchen. Aldon: Not a problem! But seriously, Celia, don’t you see? Those names, the God-awful food, a town called Snowball! They’re all a prediction of what’s to come. Chris doesn’t belong there! He’s not cut out for the boonies. It’s such a waste. (sadly)I’ll bet not many young people these days can offer both a Choate and Princeton education! Celia: Well, it was all so sudden. You have to admit after the scandal with that treacherous, lying Crawford girl, this job in the middle of Pennsylvania turned out to be a safe haven. He finally has somewhere to go, something to do, and we’ll all be saved a lot of embarrassment here in the city. I can’t understand how she could have done that to Chris! She could have ruined his life. All our lives! Aldon: I know, I know. Thank God we’re finally through that horror…I hope! I trust Chris will follow my advice about keeping a low profile. This next year he has to be very careful about the company he keeps and especially the young women he meets. Celia: (teasing smile) Are you more worried about scandal or fortune hunters? Aldon: Both! Well, the bottom line is, he never should have settled for teaching…anywhere! College, Private School, Public School. It’s all the same. He could have done so much better. Why won’t he join the firm? Why?! I would have made a place for him. He knew that. (Aldon pours himself a drink) Celia: Here we go again.(Celia sighs)Chris has to find his own way. History! That’s what he loves! He’s got a real gift and he’s so good with people. Everyone, even children, teens. When he started to teach at Boynton it seemed like a perfect fit. It’s a fine college and right away he got to be an Assistant Professor on a tenure track. I have to admit teaching high school is a letdown. Aldon: Make that High school in Snowball! A double disaster! Chris is barely twenty-seven. He’s not mature enough to know what he wants. But, he may come around yet. He’s a good kid. I know that. Don’t worry. He’ll be back. Soon! (Their apartment phone rings) Damn phone! Now who can that be? (Aldon picks up the phone) Celia: Is that Chris? (anxiously) Aldon: (Pause as Aldon listens) Children in where? (gruffly)I can’t understand a word you’re saying! Look, I’ll give money if and when I please. Don’t call this number again! Got it? (slams down the phone) These charities get by with murder. You can’t even put them on the “don’t call” list. Celia: Aldon! Wait!(she continues to read the computer) There’s something else.(pause) Chris is obviously trying to keep his chin up. Well, at least he hasn’t lost his sense of humor. (she chuckles) He says that after Buttzville, as he got close to Snowball, he drove by three towns: Snydersburg, Snydersville, and Snyderstown, all off Highway 80 and just within a few miles of each other. How confusing! Aldon: You see? What did I tell you? That place is an idiot Siberia! Poor Chris! (mischevious pause) Those names should really be Fehlersburg (pronounced fail-ers-burg), Fehlersville, and Fehlerstown! Celia: Fehler? What’s Fehler? What are you talking about? Aldon: (ironic laugh) Don’t you know what Fehler means in German? Celia: Uh, No. (hesitantly) Aldon: It means mistake!
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About the Book
This book contains eight recent plays, one-act as well as full length, and all from Manhattan. Some were in major New York theatre festivals and thus selected from international competition; others were fully produced by private theatre companies in the city. Several of the theatres were in or adjacent to Times Square. Production was especially gratifying when locations such as The Theatre at St. Clements, one of the first major off-Broadway venues utilized by the truly greats, were available. One of the shorter plays, Thy Neighbor!, appeared almost simultaneously at two different Manhattan theatres. In all productions the actors were a delightful and effective mix of both aspiring professionals and seasoned members of Equity. Photographs as well as programs of performances are included in this volume. The plays themselves are poignant and funny—stories of all different kinds of people. Although of varied ethnicities and lifestyles, in the end they prove often to be very much the same, predictably human. The plays in this book are meant to be both preserved and shared. They are yours for the reading and producing. To Buttzville and Beyond, “It’s a delightful play.” Van Dirk Fisher, founder and Artistic Director, The Riant Theatre, (Strawberry Festival Theatre and Strawberry Theatre Festival), New York To Buttzville and Beyond, “…the writing is very good… this situation was wonderfully drawn…” Nichole Donjé, actor, director, producer, New York. Founder of The Artists’ Playground Theatre, New York Visiting Hours is “ …a superb play. I was really touched by the story….very beautifully written.” Kelly Karavites, actor, New York (AEA, SAG-AFTRA) “These plays are sensitive, insightful, and thoroughly entertaining!” Stanley Hart, writer for The Carol Burnett Show and winner of multiple Emmy Awards.
About the Author
A native of Manhattan, Jeanne Chenault Porter is living proof that there is an afterlife—that is a life after a long, very different, but successful career. Jeanne is a “recovering academic” who has always been involved in the arts. For seven years she studied piano and theory at Juilliard and violin at Mannes. After majoring in art history and English literature at Barnard College, and receiving her Ph.D. from the University of Michigan, for years Jeanne was a professor of art history at Hunter College, Finch College, The University of Tennessee and, most recently, The Pennsylvania State University where she taught seventeenth century painting in Italy, France, and Spain with a focus on her signature city of Naples. She was a recipient of numerous scholarly awards including a Fulbright to Rome. Her publications are primarily in the field of European Baroque or Modern American painting but since she had always attended and loved the theatre, she decided recently to write a play. One effort led quickly to another and within three years she had produced eight. Jeanne appreciates the support she has received from actor husband, Richard James Porter, also a former art historian and gallery director, who is currently on stage in Manhattan and elsewhere. To put it another way, for Jeanne the theatre is Act III.