Where Do I Go From Here?
Going From Darkness to Living in God’s Marvelous Light
by
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In my early years of life, I grew up in an abusive home. My father was a good man to me when he was not drunk, but when he got drunk he would become someone else. I will describe him as Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. He did not abuse me but he abused my mother numerous time. My mother finally decided to leave him and she took my youngest brother, sister and I and we all moved to Miami, Florida in 1973. I did not understand at the time why she made the move but as I got older, I understood. Many things happened in my family during our life here in Miami. As I got older, I began to seek God for answers to many of my questions about why bad things happened to my family. It was many years later when I saw my father again, but he was a different man. I knew he was different - not because of something he did but because of something that was allowed to happen to him. Over sixteen years ago, a truck hit my father as he was walking across the street. As a result of the head injuries he received from the accident he did not know any of us for over sixteen years. My father passed in May 2010 from the injuries he sustained many years prior. After my father was injured I was told by a family member that a pastor stated that God allowed this to happen to my father because of him abusing my mother many years prior. I know there is a reaping process for us all but I did not feel this was how God would have taken care of my father for his sin of abusiveness. Maybe I will never know if this is true or not. I do not have my father to talk to or go places with me when I decide to go back home to visit. Therefore, when I hear people talking negatively about their parents it bothers me. I know we all dislike something our parents do or say but they are the parents God saw fit to give us. I also think about what my children thought about how I raised them. I often wonder about what my life would have been like if we had stayed in South Carolina. Nevertheless, God knows what His plan is for us even when we do not know. I often ask myself whether I helped or hurt my children because I stayed in my marriage for so long. My prayer for my children is that God is a part of every decision they make, especially in relationship matters. I also wonder if I raised my children how my parents raised me. Did I do a better or worse job? I believe I raised a good group of children. I think I raised them differently then how I was raised. Overall, my childhood was complicated but my mom did the best she could with what she had. When I started this book my father was alive since I have started the editing process my father has past. My mother is alive and well and I thank God for a peace in spite of what I think they should have done about anything given situation. As a young child and teenager, I was afraid of my own shadow and as a young adult, it did not change. I got into a relationship and had children within that relationship. Our children had to grow up within a home with parents that did not understand each other. I did everything I could to help my marriage survive but my husband did the opposite. In order for a relationship or marriage to work, it takes two people working together. If your partner does not want to stay in a relationship or marriage, you should not force them to. Too many people get hurt staying in relationships or marriages that are not good. Because of my marriage I can agree with the above statement, do not force someone to love or stay with you! I was getting tired of all the drama that was in our marriage so I started seeking God. As I started seeking God for myself, things started changing for me. I began focusing on what I wanted God to do in my life instead of worrying about what was not happening. Do not get me wrong! Everything did not change overnight I still had doubts, fear, being scared of living and also scared of dying. As my life started changing I started changing and trusting myself for the first time. It took me over ten years to start believing in myself again and that was when I decided to follow Jesus instead of following man. Again, I am not saying that God delivered me overnight - that would be lying. God is still delivering me daily. I know I am a work in progress and I am asking God daily to direct my path. I decided to write this little book which I believe has some powerful insight from God for true deliverance for me. I lived with my husband before we were married; the relationship lasted for over 22 years. My family went through many tests and trials as well as persecution. Some of the persecution was by my husband and some came from his female friends. I did not always blame the women because he was the one that brought them into our relationship.
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About the Book
Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you are a listener when you are anything but, letting the Word go in one ear and out the other. Act on what you hear! Those who hear and don’t act are like those who glance in the mirror, walk away, and two minutes later have no idea who they are, what they look like. (James 1:22–24 The Message)
This book was written on author’s life experiences. It focused on family hurts, pain, lies, deceit, and forgiveness. It brings the reader into the reality of family secrets: “What’s done in this house stays in this house.” This book shares a light at the end of the tunnel. It brings to the people–whether woman, man, boy, or girl—the hope that there’s a way out and that past circumstances don’t have to become our future. We can hold on to the thought that we can make it through any situation with the help of the Lord. Where Do I Go from Here? is also a book of mixed emotions. —Yolanda Griffin
In this book are life-changing testimonies and many helpful insights on how to live past your hurts and pains. This is a book that gives insight on how to be free through forgiving yourself and others that have causes you pain. It also gives insight on how to mature in Jesus Christ. —Renee Smith
Where Do I Go From Here? is an open invitation to anyone who wants to understand that God covers and keeps us throughout it all, from birth to entrance into His kingdom. His love never dies! God gives us liberty even when we don’t know how to grab it ourselves. Once we are set free, we are free indeed. I am a living witness that there is life after a divorce and that we are truly free to go after whatever God has for us. Hallelujah! —Angela Lambert
I am not a book reader, but once I picked up this book, it was hard to put it down. Thank you, Teresa, for allowing God to use you to help others to open their eyes and see their true potential. May God continue blessing you and your family. —Patrick A. Smith
About the Author
As a teenager I worked at a private school during my summer breaks. After graduating from high school I attended college and I received a bachelor degree in Elementary Education and a Master Degree in Reading. I worked in the Miami-Dade Public School System for over nine years. I retired in June 2012. I was a faithful member at New Generation M.B. Church in Opa Locka, Florida under the leadership of Pastor Ranzer and Reverend Rhonda Thomas, Sr. for over 15 years. Before joining New Generation Church I was a faithful member at Trinity Assembly of God Church for over 15 years under the leaderships of Pastor Art Shell. In both Churches I was a leader in different ministries. Now God has called me to further my learning at Hope Interdenominational Church, Columbia, SC under the leadership of Apostle Arnold and Pastor Judy Williams.