You’re Never Too Old to Have a Happy Childhood

Sam put up a hand. “Ed, Whoa! When I say I need a break, I’m talking about a year.”
“What?!” Ed exclaimed, “Sam! Please tell me you are kidding. We have commitments!”
Sam sighed and looked out the window. “I wonder if I should re-sod the lawn.”
Even though his years of theater allowed him to remain calm, Ed had a veiled look of panic. “Sam, get serious! Have you considered my suggestion to bring in that woman? You remember I mentioned Karen Griffith, the Transformational Technician?”
Sam cut in, “Are you trying to set me up again? Why do you insist that what I need to straighten me out is a really good woman?” Sam was trying to rattle him.
Ed was unmoved. “Really Sam, this has nothing to do with that. I am not ‘setting you up’ as you put it. I mention Karen again because she has a great professional reputation. She’s… different. Rather than needing years of psychoanalysis, she is somehow able to cut through all the bullshit and get right to the heart of the matter.”
Sam wanted to humor his friend. “And pray tell, Ed, how does she accomplish this miracle?”
“Well… she would come to your house to get a sense of how your life works, or mostly doesn’t work. First she shakes things up… like a bomb going off, then she cleans up the mess. Usually it takes a week.”
Sam had a look of horror on his face so Ed decided to restate the description. “Okay, let me reword. She’s unconventional, but very effective. You’d like her,” (“or not”) he added as a stage aside.
“Okay, Yes! Yes! Fine, give me a few days to recover from puking and bring her by. I promise I’ll see her. And she can see me.
After a moment Sam added, “… and don’t worry about fixing me up with her. I heard from Jack that he heard from Chuck that she is a grandma and almost fifty years old.”
“Sa- am,” Ed said in a sing song voice.
“Yes Ed?” Sam asked innocently.
“You are almost fifty,” Ed pointed out as he left the room.
“After all,” Sam went on talking himself, “She’s a grandmother. How dangerous could she be?”
Two weeks later, Karen stood at the immense front door of Sam Hudson’s palace. Her thin blue cotton shoes were embroidered with purple and gold dragons. They offered her feet scant protection from the jagged lava stones that filled the walkway. It was now 6:30 PM. The sun shining into her dark blue eyes caused them to fill with tears. The gradations of brown on the surrounding hills, the sky streaked blue and pink were so stunning that Karen held her breath in a vain attempt to preserve the moment. The smell of fruit trees, cactus flowers and dune grasses mingled with the breeze off the ocean. Karen closed her eyes and took slow deep breaths. The entire experience was intoxicating.
She was preparing to knock when the huge door jerked opened. Karen expected a houseboy, a pool boy or a lackey of some sort. But it was “the man himself.” Even with her eyes teary and her face shielded from the Southern-California sun by the back of her long lean forearm, Karen could tell it was stunning movie star, Sam Hudson.
Sam smiled his award-winning smile. He erroneously assumed this delightful slip of a girl must have had car trouble near his private drive. But why his hadn’t his guard warned him that someone was approaching? And anyway, where was this Karen person? He looked past the girl and peered down the road searching for clouds of dust.
He turned his attention back to the “sweet thing.” “Hi darlin’, having car trouble?” Sam asked warmly, in an affected drawl.
At that exact moment Karen’s strong, tanned arm shot out to greet him and her clear, assertive voice said, “Hello Sam, I’m Karen.”
His knees buckled. Sam’s left hand grabbed the door frame. Instinctively Karen gently supported his elbow hoping to keep him from falling.
“Are you alright then?” Karen asked. “Ed mentioned you had not been feeling well.”
Karen looked calmly and steadily into his piercing blue-green eyes. Her look was not a come-on, not a challenge; in fact it was not like anything Sam had ever seen in a woman. She was a beautiful woman - there was no doubt about that, and she was standing a few inches from him on his doorstep waiting to come in and spend a week with him. What a delightful thought. Her gaze was level, peaceful, confident, open and innocent.
“Gosh,” thought Sam, “How long have I been staring into her eyes. It has been years since a woman my age has held my attention this long. She looks more like a college freshman than a grandma!” Sam was pondering the mystery of women. Still he made no move to go into the house.
An amused smile spread across Karen’s face. She was getting a small inkling of Ed’s concern.
“Sam, excuse me, are you going to invite me in?”
Sam seemed unable to remain focused for even two minutes. Karen could see how this would present a problem to Ed and Jack as they continued to run Pauley Hudson Encore, the trio’s successful film company.
Now Karen was the one spacing out. “Karen… Karen? Boy, you and I are a pair of Space Cadets. Sam sang the theme song to Twilight Zone. “Thank you for agreeing to help me. Maybe Ed told you, I really need a miracle worker.”
They stepped into Sam’s dark mirrored hallway. Sam bowed from the waist in a formal fashion, “Welcome to Sam’s big house of fun, Miss Griffith,” Sam laughed.
Karen trailed behind, wondering what in the world she had gotten herself into.