A Consumer's Journey to Mental Health Recovery

Synopsis “Steps Toward Healthier and Happier Relationships” is about how I learned to connect with people in my daily life. This was essential for my recovery. By applying these examples one will be able to become more knowledgeable about how to improve their (human relations) people skills. The study consists of descriptions about predispositions, feelings and emotions, and group dynamics. Steps Toward Healthier and Happier Relationships My disability is paranoid schizophrenia; and I have been a consumer of psychiatric services for sixteen years. I believe that the paranoid part was devastating and debilitating. I was clearly psychotic. I was afraid of people and I never learned how to deal with them. Within the last three years, I finally became aware of how to deal with different behaviors in people. This is my story. I will begin by telling you experiences that prompted me to write Steps Toward Healthier and Happier Relationships. Going to LaGuardia Community College was the pivotal experience of my life. During that time, I was in my last semester at the college. I was having a lot of difficulties with the students in my class. I didn’t know how to get along with other students. For example, when someone laughed, I thought they were laughing at me and I would begin to feel anxious. I was stressed for a long period of time and couldn’t change my thinking. When someone made facial gestures, I perceived this as mocking me. This included facial gestures like raising the eyebrows, rubbing of the nose, and frowning. People in the class whispered or talked quietly to each other, and that left me suspicious that it was about me. In terms of group dynamics, I was the in-between person. My emotions and communicating skills were not connected, and my predisposition was totally passive. In other words, I didn’t know how to fend for myself. Synopsis “Unraveling Inner Conflicts” is about my struggles (which are within) to come to terms with my mental illness. I came up with a theory by observing myself and the world at large, and by coming up with a strategy for my recovery. Inner conflicts are automatic, unconscious thoughts, habits, and rituals which one uses in order to shield themselves from their trauma. We all have inner conflicts. Unraveling Inner Conflicts Why do I automatically think people don’t like me? Why do I automatically think that people want to make fun of me? Why do I automatically think that people want to harm me? This is my belief system. This is how I survived. It all started when I was working in a department store. I worked there for a few years full-time. Towards the latter part of the third year I found myself in my room lying in bed not able to move. I couldn’t eat nor drink. I didn’t even get up to use the bathroom or shower. The next thing I knew I was on an AMTRAK train heading toward Washington D.C. to see my older brother. I was accompanied by my half-sister and younger brother. Once there my older brother, his girlfriend, and her sister didn’t question me, but just watched me as my episodes went on.