Trade Secrets

The long pause which followed made the inmate more uneasy than his visitor, who apparently was waiting for him to respond. Carlos eventually did look up. "That's just yer dream – ‘n’ it's a lie. Angel says yer a dreamer, ‘n’ proba’ly a lunatic as well. It wasn't like that at all. Ya saw only what ya wanted ta see."
"Then tell me what you saw. What drove you -- and Tracey and Will -- to fill sandbags like maniacs -- like the very survival of the village depended on just you three alone ?"
"A pair a kids sayin' I was too old or weak or small ta fill bags as fast as some others could. I'd show 'em. Carlos the Great One. Carlos the fool !"
"So you climbed to the top of the sandbags to proclaim your win ?"
"No -- not exactly. I wanted ta see the scarey world that was out there. What the wall I helped build was holdin' back. It felt good. Seein' I finally done somethin' good fer a change. Hearin' people shout 'Hurrah fer Carlos ! Good Job ! ‘R HERO'. "
"And the second time -- when the water started rising again. Wasn't that you I saw on top of the barrier rousing everyone to save the town ?"
Carlos was silent as his eyes glazed over as if viewing some event visible only to him. When he finally did respond his voice was low but filled with despair intermingled with the same anguish and furious resentment the Jesuit recalled in the voices of those he'd met on the Indian Reservation and among the rehabilitating drug users on Chicago's South Side. "I was jest curious at first. Then I saw the river was laughin' at me. It was comin' -- like it always come before -- like always ta take everythin' I had. Bullies that beat on me 'n' stole my money cuz I was small ‘n’ different from 'em. Teachers that looked down on me cuz I couldn' talk right or do good on tests. Dirt ‘n’ grime ‘n’ all those damn leakin' roofs. Suspicious ‘n’ thievin' cops -- judges that sent me away from Chicago -- my city -- my Chicago – ‘n’ locked me in this hell hole -- Cutler Valley -- away from my family ‘n’ friends. I saw 'em all in that ugly grey water !
"Now it was comin' again ta wipe away every sign a the one real good thin’ I finally did. NO ! Damn ya river, not this time ! I'll be damned ‘n’ dead ‘n’ buried afore I let ya take this from me ! NOT THIS TIME ! I'll do it alone if I hafta . Will ‘n’ Tracey would help -- ‘n’ Franklin ‘n’ Ken -- ‘n’ some other cons -- maybe even some people from the town .”
“ ‘N what good did it do ?" he questioned very softly after a pause. "Chandler's Wharf still went under. Carlos loses again. Jest another loss."
"A loss ? No ! You saved the whole town. Most lived here all their lives and saw only a bunch of outdated, saggy roofed, rotting houses and stores from a by-gone era. Truthfully, that’s only what I saw. A score might have happily abandoned it to the flood waters, pocketed their insurance money, and fled somewhere else. But those people saw you and others working as though Chandler's Wharf was some priceless treasure that had to be safeguarded. They saw a fever driving you to preserve something valuable and realized they had allowed to fade away that eagerness to both support and to be supported by others that makes any community, whether 100 or a nation. You ignited a new spirit in the village. But, far more importantly, you forced us to look at our own crippling pre-judices and see you as men. Chandler's Wharf will come back, better than before, be-cause you taught us to prize what was really important. Thank you for that. Hurrah for Carlos ! Good Job !"
"Is there anythin' else ?" he inquired sullenly.
"Actually two things. Cutler Valley sent us a dozen beaten down, despondent prisoners. We returned twelve hopeful men who were and still are part of a revitalized community whose people care for each other. We promised not to forget or ignore you, and we need to prove we carry out our promises. Accept me as living proof !
"The second thing is equally important. We will move heaven and earth to reunite our entire family. We think we can free all of you by year's end. Heaven is moved by prayers, and with both St. Bonaventure's and Reverend Wilson's congregation united, it should be more than enough. To move earth a bit speedier, we have lawyers, people writing letters, and every influential person we know contacting the governor to give all of you pardons. Until we succeed, I promise no two weeks will pass without my coming to visit. [He grinned.] I took your advice and read St. Matthew's gospel very carefully."
"It was Angel who knew where ta look."
"Thank Angel for reminding me of my obligation. I'm sure he'll be pleased he taught something to a Jesuit."
Face emotionless, Carlos stood. "Speeches ‘n’ promises are easy ta make. I got lots a both in ma life -- ma parents, the good sisters, pals, cops, judges, the warden.
Talk's cheap, ‘n’ as worthless as yer holy pi’tures and rosaries."
"Since you want neither rosaries nor holy cards now -- though I pray someday you will -- I have one final thing to offer. Hope. I so much want you to have that. Will you accept ?"
"No. There ain't no sense in hopin’ for anythin' here." Carlos turned, walking toward the door.
"Carlos." He stopped but didn't bother to look around.
"Carlos, I'll be back next week. I'll bring some more hope -- I know you need it."
The prisoner without saying a thing completed his walk to and through the door which clanged shut after him.