The Journey of Women after 40
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Why I Wrote The Book: “The Journey of Women after 40” I wrote this book for three reasons. The first was my need to probe deeper and understand myself better. The second was to demystify the myth of old age by presenting accurate information about the reality of aging. I wanted to stress that there are no mysteries, and to clear up any confusion or misinformation about the unavoidable future we all face. It is crucial to have the proper information that will enable us to take charge of our lives over time; lest we become the victims of time. The third and the most important reason, was to encourage and provide moral support for women over 40; my hope was to help them understand how women think, feel and love after 40, so that they could find a satisfactory solution to any psychological problems they might have related to aging. Additionally, I hoped that with specific advice they would be able to seize the best of whatever the future might bring so that they can live informed and satisfying lives. It is my wish that women who read this book will achieve a deeper understanding of themselves so as to be able to draw upon greater resources for dealing with the problems of every age. It is my wish that they will find solutions for problems that up to now have appeared insoluble, and that my readers will be able to handle a variety of emotional, psychological or social crises that heretofore would have led them to an impasse. The main source for my book was my own life and experiences, and those of my closest friends; they opened their hearts and souls to me and revealed their innermost thoughts and fantasies, their dreams and suppressed wishes, as well as their experiences, problems, struggles and feelings. I decided to express that experience in words and to share it with women over 40, urging them to view the future with optimism, to adopt positive role models and to reject the cheap and easy clichés that we are constantly bombarded. Clichés that demean us and ignore what we have achieved through experience: through our work and through the knowledge and abilities we have acquired. In addition, I would like for us to attempt to give our children, especially our daughters and grand-daughters, new role models, more authentic, creative and appealing than the demeaning, false, racist-sexist views that defame middle-aged women. One-quarter of our lives we spend as children, adolescents and young adults; for the remaining three-quarters we are mature adults. Every stage of adulthood has its own virtues and its special problems. Middle age does indeed present problems to be solved, but it also has its pleasures and satisfactions. There is very little that a young woman can enjoy that a woman over 40 cannot also find satisfaction in. The reader will find good, useful information on menopause, and on how to modify or alter her priorities for a healthier, happier life. In general, I have tried to provide correct information on issues that she will encounter on her path through life. Information, self-knowledge and the cultivation of the spirit can help us to remain physically and mentally strong, they help us ward off many of the ravages of age, so that we may profit from the creative powers that well up in us at every new phase of life, giving birth to new desires that, when satisfied, will fill us with the breath of rebirth. It is also my hope that the testimony of this book will lead some women to a fresh start, a new beginning. That they will find their own way in middle age; with courage and feelings of pride, to value their appearance and their mental/spiritual worlds. That they will draw on the strength that comes from maturity and their own unique characteristics so as to achieve their personal goals and find joy in the different roles they play in their daily lives: as working women, wives, mothers, daughters, companions, and friends. Their growth will be purely personal and not bound by rules or limitations. The ability of a woman to have tender feelings, to love and raise her children, does not in the least lessen her ability to think. On the contrary, these abilities empower her. We are fortunate to have been born women and can enjoy a significant emotional life as well as the knowledge that enables us to overcome the obstacles of time and to achieve control of our lives. The greatest desire of any woman must be the realization of her dreams and the rejection of limitations on her abilities to achieve her goals. Limits stifle the spirit, restrain vitality and hamper flexibility. There are obvious as well as hidden pressures that confine us and prevent us from changing; they are difficult to be eliminated from our lives. I believe that contemporary women have begun to recognize the power of middle age; to realize the beauty of this stage of life. Together we can all create role models and examples, find women who are fulfilled at 40, at 50, 60, 70 and 80, and who exemplify the beauty and strength that emerges from within. We need to accept the fact of our age and whatever effect age has on our bodies and faces, and to value the glow that radiates from our experiences and our fully developed personalities. However it is not enough for us to simply accept our age; we must also realize that there is a different kind of beauty and must set new aesthetic criteria and models. We need to abolish erroneous ideals of female attractiveness, and calmly, optimistically, fearlessly confront our future. The French fashion designer Coco Chanel once said: "Ladies, after 40 you no longer have inherited beauty, but rather the beauty of your souls. That is a beauty that no beauty salon or face lifts can give you."
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About the Book
Woman After Forty is a psychological journey in the life of every woman, as well as a compass pointing to the future. Women Readers over forty , from the scientific studies from research centers as Harvard University, Johns Hopkins University and the Mayo Clinic, willl find their own ways to understand and value their outward appearance and inner strength, in order to feel healthy, useful and fulfilled. Also they will draw strength from their maturity so that they can better serve and enjoy their personal goals at the various stages of their lives. I like to think of it as a breath of optimism to help women confront the future with strength and energy.
About the Author
Liana Kallierou-Xylas was born in Athens, Greece where she has lived most of her life. She attended the American College of Greece, a high-school for girls, in Athens, and studied History of Art at the British Council also in Athens. She got married at the age of twenty-one and had a daughter. Three years later she divorced and went on to complete her BA. in History of Art. In her thirties, Liana began her volunteer community work: for almost ten years she ran the day-to-day operations of “The Sparrows”, a nursery school for orphan and underprivileged children in Athens. She was honored for her work by the Ministry of Education and the Ministry of Public Welfare. Additionally she has been active in various Greek organizations that succeeded in bringing about reforms to Greek family law to benefit single mothers, buttered wives and to secure equal rights for working women. In her forties she decided to return to school and study psychology. Liana completed her BA at Deree College in Athens and went on to the University of Chicago where she attended seminars in Family Therapy. After a brief pause during which she remarried at the age of forty-five, enrolled at the California University, in Santa Anna, and she completed her MA of Science, Psychology. Currently, Liana, at the age of 64 and after a second divorce, started a new career as a Clinical Psychologist and speaker on women’s issues, giving numerous lectures and have been interviewed a lot on radio and television in Greece on these issues. She is a member of the American Psychotherapist Association and of the Adlerian Society of Greece . She is currently the President of Karyatides-Daughters of Penelope, Womens branch of Ahepa, which fosters a day care center of 105 poor and refugee children.