Baby Daddy Disorder
Solutions for Change
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If one more of my male psychotherapy patients says that they don’t spend time with their children because they don’t have time, I might just open the nearest window and hurl my body out of it! I’ve heard it so much that I’ve labeled it “Baby Daddy Disorder.” I am a psychologist, teacher, researcher, parent, sister, cousin, friend and so many other titles. Thus, over the years I’ve pretty much heard just about every reason, excuse and lie for why men cannot be consistently involved in the lives of their children. Men can be very colorful in their depictions of why it is simply not possible for them to financially support their children, spend time with their children or simply make a phone call to their children. I was inspired to write this book out of my pure frustration with the state of fatherhood within the African American community. I see many examples of how the children have not been made a priority in many African American families. I’ve watched many times as the children flounder during adolescence as they struggle to develop an identity despite having been abandoned. It’s a harsh reality but a reality that I feel has been accepted. In my opinion, it seems that many African American men are content to sire children and then simply walk away from most, if not all of the financial, emotional and psychological obligation that is the foundation of parenting. Don’t get me wrong, I have witnessed more than a few African American men serve as great fathers to their children. Many are stay at home dads and they take pride in being able to nurture and care for their family. I’ve also seen the kind of father that works long overnight hours and still comes in to fix breakfast for his children. I’ve seen the fathers that work two jobs and still manage to attend their daughter’s dance recital. I’ve been able to see this many times over in my own life via my father, uncles, brothers and friends. It’s a magnificent image of self-sacrifice and maturity that allows men to fulfill that role consistently. These positive images of fatherhood are present and real but are few and far between. I wish that there larger percentages of men fulfilling this role in our community, but that is simply not the case. Baby Daddy Disorder is a reality check on what is terribly wrong in the African American community. Families are the core of every issue that plagues our community. Alcoholism, obesity and poor health, economic hardship, education, crime and violence are just a few elements that need improvement within the African American community. Each one of these elements could be tackled more strategically if families were intact or if parents could work together as a team to ensure success for their children. It’s been said that “It takes a village to raise a child.” Even if grandmother, aunts and uncles create and work in the village, father’s need to step up, man up and get up so that they can fulfill their role in the village.
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About the Book
I see many examples of how the children have not been made a priority in many African American families. It seems that many African American men are content to produce children and then simply walk away from most, if not all of the financial, emotional and psychological responsibilities that serve as the foundation of parenting. Baby Daddy Disorder is a reality check on what is terribly wrong in the African American community. Families are the core of every issue that plagues our community. Alcoholism, obesity and poor health, economic hardship, education, crime and violence are just a few elements that need improvement within the African American community. Each one of these elements could be tackled more strategically if families were intact or if parents could work together as a team to ensure success for their children. It’s been said that “It takes a village to raise a child.” Even if grandmother, aunts and uncles create and work in the village, father’s need to step up, man up and get up so that they can fulfill their role in the village. Baby Daddy Disorder is a reality check on what is terribly wrong in the African American community. Families are the core of every issue that plagues our community. Alcoholism, obesity and poor health, economic hardship, education, crime and violence are just a few elements that need improvement within the African American community. Each one of these elements could be tackled more strategically if families were intact or if parents could work together as a team to ensure success for their children. It’s been said that “It takes a village to raise a child.” Even if grandmother, aunts and uncles create and work in the village, father’s need to step up, man up and get up so that they can fulfill their role in the village.
About the Author
Dr. Jameca W. Falconer is an accomplished Counseling psychologist, educator, entrepreneur, and civic leader. With clinical expertise in geriatric psychology, Dr. Falconer is one of the leading providers of psychotherapy services to older adults in St. Louis. After recognizing the overwhelming need for mental health services among older African Americans in St. Louis, Dr. Falconer launched her psychotherapy practice in 2006. Her company, provides psychological services to thousands of St. Louis area residents, many of whom have functional and physical limitations to leaving their homes. She has provided a valuable service to residents of St. Louis at a time when many health providers have abandoned in-home visits. She is currently the Counseling Psychologist at Logan University College of Chiropractic and is Adjunct Faculty at both Webster University and Maryville University. Dr. Falconer is a past president of the Association of Black Psychologists (Saint Louis Chapter), and President of the Tougaloo College Alumni Association (St. Louis chapter). Her leadership in both organizations has helped to re-engage members and stimulate more community outreach efforts. Much of Dr. Falconer’s community involvement has focused on increasing the awareness of mental health conditions and decreasing the stigma associated with mental health in communities of color.