Suicide Note
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I saw my reflection one day in a dream, it was all alone in a pond near my old house. It was in pain, that was very clear to see. As I kneeled by the edge to offer him some comfort, he spoke to me. In such a soft voice, almost a defeated whisper. He asked if I would be so kind, not to take him on this journey of mine. He told me he could not take no more and begged me to set him free. I could see the tears streaming down his cheek, and his blank star off into no where. He could not bare to look at me and I could not believe the pain and misery I have caused. I wanted to help him, help me. But where would I begin, when I wanted so badly to escape myself, how could I expect anyone else to stand with me. The mistakes I have made and the losses I've incurred I have projected beyond my own skin. I have chose to stomp thru the heat in bare feet and unknowingly dragged many with me. He spoke, I listened, and realized what I had done. He said; I have stood beside you in silence when all I wanted to do was scream. There were so many days I could feel our lungs taking in air but we couldnt breathe. I have stood beside you while our silence became more silent to those we loved, and in return we made them feel as if it was all there fault. I have stood beside you while we were hiding and avoiding the people we needed, while we made them feel we wanted to be alone, being found was all we seeked. I have stood beside you while are dreams escaped into the night, and above all, we were never alone in this fight. He was right, I ran my hands across the water hoping to brush his skin, I am so sorry for what I've done but please dont leave me now. In the ripples he disapeared, I guess he chose his freedom.
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About the Book
If someone had told me I would be dead by the time I was thirty, I probably would have put more urgency in trying to accomplish something with my life. A life that I would one day look back on with great regret and sorrow. You never know when today will be your last today, and tomorrow is just an illusion. When the person you planned on calling or seeing is no more than a dream you can't remember. Or a goal that you set for your self now seems so far out of reach. The future can get farther and farther away, while the past can catch up to you in an instant. I suppose I will never know when my tomorrow will end, or when death will call upon me. Unless I take life into my own hands. . . . And I choose the day I die.
About the Author
PAIN was born September 20th 1970 in Upstate NY. He is an avid writer of dark poetry and song lyrics. He has had a trying life battling depression and Bi Polar Disorder as well as paranoia and physical illness. Most of his work is a reflection of his every day struggle with sanity and the desire to live, and at some point his desire to die. You will find yourself traveling down dark and lonely paths fighting off a beast that wishes to consume his soul. Starting from the time he was just five years old, feeling afraid and lonely, hiding in the darkest corners he could find. To the eventual fall he could not escape. Filled with stories and poetry of his life and finally his early departure from this earth. This is PAIN. And this is his story.