JAG

CHAPTER ONE

Love Unconditionally

John 15:12-14

"My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. "

Anyone who has experienced the joy of having a dog has likely experienced the unconditional love that these creatures have the ability to give. From day one, even as a tiny puppy, Jag has showered our family with unconditional love. Before glancing over that last sentence and moving on casually, we should pause and really think about what it means. Unconditional love is easy to say, but much harder to practice. Love is the most powerful of emotions. It implies and represents so much that from the beginning of time it has defined one of the most important elements of the human psyche. An often overused word, love transcends many dimensions of our existence.

In the end, love is something we search for and long for. We cherish it when we have it, mourn when we lose it, and are sometimes cautions before we grant it. We talk about falling in and out of love, although that seems to be in stark contrast with the concept of unconditional love. We say we love this or that – even a food like pizza. But that’s not love, that’s like.

Try this for a moment: define the word love. It’s not easy, is it? But can you recognize it when you see it or when you feel it? I bet you can.

We know love because instinctively we recognize that it implies a strong affection for another. It gives rise to our desire for the other person’s well being and happiness, even more than our own – like the love a parent feels for a child. We know love because instinctively we have an attachment or devotion to someone, as in the love we feel for a sibling or our best friend. For the most blessed among us, we know love because we’ve felt the fatherly concern of God for humankind, and we adore and love God. However, we should never underestimate the power of love and what it really means. We ought not take it for granted or allow its casual use in our everyday vernacular to diminish its significance and impact on our lives.

The best definition of love is found in scripture.

1 Corinthians 13: 4-7

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Jag understands love. More importantly, he understands the principle of unconditional love!

I looked up the word “unconditional” in Webster’s New World Thesaurus because I wanted to know what other words were associated with it. It seems obvious enough doesn’t it? To most of us, “unconditional” means without reservation or free of attachments. But the word takes on its real meaning and strength when you consider the other words used to describe it. Words such as positive, definite, absolute, unconstrained, outright, final, certain, complete, entire, whole, unrestricted, unqualified, and unlimited are just a few of the words used to describe unconditional. Unconditional is also interchangeable with actual, thorough, genuine, indubitable, assured, determinate, unequivocal, categorical, decisive, unmistakable, clear, and unquestionable.

Can you think of a few things that qualify as unconditional? I mean really unconditional? It seems to me almost everything in life has some conditions attached to it. Whether spelled out in specific detailed contracts or agreements between people, or implied with a handshake, most every transaction in life has some conditions attached to it. There is almost always a catch. Otherwise, phrases such as “if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is” and “buyers beware” would have no meaning or place in society. What would attorneys do for a living if there was no need for setting or enforcing contracts with all sorts of conditions? Isn’t that what the concept of quid pro quo is really all about?

Quid pro quo. It sounds so elegant when spoken. After all, it’s Latin, and when said with a certain flair it makes the person using it sound intellectual and sophisticated. The very meaning of the phrase implies that there are conditions. It means "something for something.” It indicates a more or less equal exchange or substitution of goods or services. Said another way – although not quite as elegantly – is tit for tat.

Despite the fact that tit for tat sounds more like what two toddlers might say to each other in the sand box – “you give me ‘tit’ and I’ll give you ‘tat’, the concept basically means “you take care of me, and I’ll take care of you.” Nothing can be less unconditional than that!

Quid pro quo more aptly defines most of our relationships, both business and personal, than almost any other phrase. Certainly in business there is a clear quid pro quo. I do some work for you, and you pay me. Quid pro quo. I paid for breakfast this time; you pick it up the next. Quid pro quo. I say something nice about you and you say something nice back. Quid pro quo. I hurl an insult at you; you launch one right back at me. Quid pro quo. I bring you chicken soup when you’re not feeling well and you walk my dog when I need to go out of town. Quid pro quo. That doesn’t sound too bad, right? After all, what’s wrong with expecting a bit in return for our good deeds? On the surface, it seems like a good system. So, that begs the question: why does it break down so often?