LOVE AFFAIR before and after death…

Given that Bernard has already told me that we are twin souls and that his energy is a part of mine, and thus, mine is a part of his, I don’t think it is an impossibility that I would have been able to hear his mind during the moments and aftermath of his death. I think what most needs to be said, and what would really help those of us who survive the death of our beloved partners, is proof that there really is a world where they continue to exist. It is hard for those of us “in life” to believe that the cold, hard corpse of our loved ones can yield something akin to a “soul.” But in truth it has been written about for thousands of years. Every religion, every faith, in some form, maintains that the soul exists. Who are we to deny this—to eliminate it from our historical lore. Although, even as I write this, I fully comprehend that even Bernard can likely not provide “proof,” but I am a seeker of spiritual mystery and am one of those people who is awestruck by something as common place as the birth of a child or a litter of tiny pups. Science wishes us to believe that we “evolve” and therefore nature must and does take its course. We are born and then progress through years of aging and finally die of a broken body or possibly a broken heart. But the truth is that science consistently contradicts its own theories. Recently, while reading a book, supporting the concept that God exists and therefore the soul… a physicist was asked if his years of devotion to physics had proved that science reigned supreme. He gently answered: “Quite the contrary. Physics for all of its theories and mysteries has proved time and time again that there actually is an intelligence to all that is. Meaning even in chaos there is a rhythm that cannot be denied. An underlying perfection that evolution cannot supply.” Years ago a dear friend mentioned “neutrinos” to me. The word neutrino is Italian for “small neutral one.” The definition given online is that a neutrino is an elementary particle that can travel close to the speed of light, is electrically neutral, able to pass through ordinary matter (almost undisturbed) and is thus extremely difficult to detect. They also possess a minuscule but close to nonzero mass—meaning they weigh nothing. Physicists have proved that a neutrino can pass through a foot of solid lead and come out unharmed on the other side. Not damaged in the slightest way. The neutrino is also known as the “ghost particle” and with that moniker lends itself to the idea… could our soul be made up of something we have yet to measure or understand? Especially given that it can move through solid mass without detection or harm. Given that our bodies are mostly water and from the inside looking out we understand that we inhabit our body. Although most of our thought seems to come from behind our eyes, our brain controlling it, surely you have noted that sometimes you seem to not be there. Like when sleeping for instance or meditating deeply. Orgasm is also the time when we are said to be “least present in our bodies.” Our bodies are experiencing something that we have no control over. People who have suffered enormous trauma, like a horrendous car accident, have been known to enact Herculean tasks while pumping adrenalin. Afterwards they have no recollection of why they did what they did or even how they did it. So it is possible to not inhabit our body and the body will continue on its own. The scores of books that have been written by people who maintain they can leave their body at will... attest to this. Myself, this has only happened to me once in my life. I was indulging in therapy years ago with a person in Toronto. I was in their waiting room, actually lying on the floor hugging their dog, and somehow I managed to be standing in their front hallway at the exact same time. The reason I know this happened is because the therapist’s wife was walking down the hall and when I went to converse with her she ignored me and proceeded to walk right through me. Sounds bizarre I know, but I continued to stand there and watch her leave the building completely flummoxed by how she had done that. Also I was perturbed as to why she had completely ignored me. The couple was given to rudeness so I am not sure that proves my point. Simultaneously, I was back hugging the dog and had no recollection of having gotten up from the floor and/or having opened the door to enter the hall. So did I bi-locate? I believe that I did and with no preparation for the possibility at all. If this can happen without forewarning what are the chances that death has a pre-planned venue much like the growth and birth of a baby within a mother’s womb? I suspect that dying is a series of small events that leads to something we simply cannot fathom… but I also believe that we have all done it several times before. Like many others, I am a big proponent of reincarnation. I think child protégés, savants, and indigo children prove this point without exception. As do ghosts. Sylvia Browne, the American psychic, has commented, “What the hell do people think ghosts are anyway?” I always get a chuckle out of her way with words but her point is well taken. Ghosts are versions of human beings and many ordinary people have felt the presence of… or actually have seen the ghosts of people and animals that they have loved. When my husband died a dear friend of his purported to see him physically come around the corner of our home and head toward the gazebo. I mentioned this earlier. The interesting thing is that lots of people always commented on feeling his presence in the gazebo… including another friend’s young son who refused to enter until the man inside was gone. We were flummoxed, of course, because the gazebo was empty. And the child later entered the gazebo with no apparent fear or trepidation. Had Bernard’s spirit left because he realized he was causing fear in the young boy?