The Face of Dementia

She was beautiful and witty. She had a unique sense of humor which was often a surprise to me, but funny nonetheless.

Years later when my dad was still living and mom was out on one of her famous walks, she slipped on a rock just outside a fast food place.

When we arrived at the hospital she was already in surgery so we waiting with my dad and waited and waited.

I reassured him I would take him to see mom for the next few days in the hospital until she came home.

Dad was declining, mom was handling it and I was still a constant fixture was my brother Bob. We checked on them often.

By this time my dad's mom Granny was ill and needed help.

I had promised Granny I would be with her when she died. She was an amazing woman.

The last time I was with her she was in and out of a coma.

She woke up long enough to say to me "Honey I am glad you are here and I love you."

When mom was in her 70's, before dad died I began to notice things that were different about her.

I noticed her forgetfulness and just thought not a big deal. Heck; I forget a lot too anymore.

I remember vividly the day I was over and we were talking.

Mom talked about her job of over 30 years with NWA, her home in Minnesota and growing up there.

I asked her "what are you thinking about mom?" She looked at me and started to cry. "I don't know why I just can't remember things anymore." You could have poured ice water over me at that point and it would have felt warm to me.

Then it happened, the moment I suppose I was waiting for. Ann was gone for the night and mom had been alone for several hours.

When Ann got home, she called me to say mom was on the floor and refused to get up.

She was admitted to the hospital, where we had been a few time before.

They moved her to a memory care facility in a local senior home.

The day finally came about three months later when I was informed she was no longer making progress and we had decide whether to leave her there at an astronomical cost or move her. Tim and I had discussed this at length and determined that we would bring her to our home once again. We had spent the last three months preparing.

Hospice was notified, on board and had begun to send supplies......

When I put mom to bed that night she told me that her husband, her mother and father, sister and brother had visited her. I maintained my composure and told her, "It's OK, mom, you can go with them and you should...."

I had just given my mom permission to die.