Seriously Funny

I once had a friend with impeccable grammar,

Who, sadly for him, had a terrible stammer,

Whenever he spoke, certain words were delayed,

Which sometimes inspired cruel remarks to be made,

But then he decided to bring about change,

A trip to the doctor he chose to arrange,

He talked to an expert in problems with speech,

And hoped that an end to his stammer he'd reach,

But after a while, it had soon become clear,

An end to his plight wasn't anywhere near,

His therapy failed, though he'd tried all he could,

He had to face facts; it had done him no good,

Then just when he felt at the end of his rope,

Alternative medicine offered him hope,

He'd heard of a colleague who'd had some success,

By using these methods to cure him of stress,

My friend then decided to follow his lead,

And tried different methods to answer his need,

He tried homeopathy; herbalists too,

But got no result from whatever he'd do,

He tried acupuncture, but felt like a prick,

He drank his own urine, which made him feel sick,

He saw a psychiatrist; covered all ground,

But, just like the hypnotist, no cure was found,

Then just when it seemed that his last chance had gone,

A new kind of treatment he stumbled upon,

Its name I've forgotten, but he was quite sure,

That this time he'd found a miraculous cure,

A few Sundays later, we met as desired,

I bought him a drink, and politely enquired:

"How's the new treatment? Have you had any luck?"

And he answered: "Have I f...f...f...f...fuck!"