From Divorce Court to the Ice Cream Shop

I called the flavor "Ebony FDNY," a reference to the color of the heavy black gear worn by New York City firefighters, AKA "New York City's Bravest."

Yes, the firefighter. If ever there was a remedy for a broken heart or crushing divorce, I needed to look no further!

Simply put, to me, firefighters are HOT. Literally, at times, and figuratively always. I'd venture to guess that just about everything most women think they know or dream about firemen is true. But for me, what I thought and fantasized about firemen, became reality.

Admittedly, I am not an expert on firefighters. My sample size is small. As of 2009, there were 11,400 men working as firefighters for the city of New York. Given the odds, I suppose it wasn't that surprising that I ran into more than a few of them at the internet dating Ice Cream Shop.

But I learned a lot from the three I did meet. I guess I can be a good listener when intrigued and absolutely awe struck.

At first, I was dreadfully shy about the very idea of dating a firefighter. Even the notion of looking one in the eye!

Let me explain. I lived through the tragic 9/11 terrorist attacks on the United States. Yes, I know. Another trauma in this New York author's life. I'll make it brief, though, because 9/11 is not something I like to talk about.

In September 2001, I lived in Tribeca, three blocks north of the World Trade Center. The three of us -- my daughter, my husband and I -- left our apartment building at exactly 10:28 am.

That was the very moment the north tower collapsed on itself. The collapse of "WTC One" doused us in a cloud of debris composed of substances I do not like to contemplate.

Back to the point. The Firemen. I couldn't look at them for months after 9/11. Other New Yorkers would cheer or wave. I would look downward because I understood their losses that day.

For those that were there and survived I understood at least some of what they had gone through. I knew the trauma experienced by those who did retrieval (there was no rescue to speak of). I knew what they had found.

So, when the first email from a firefighter flashed upon my computer screen via Match.com, I shook my head. Then I dropped my jaw at his Dennis-Leary-like good looks. Yes. He reminded me of the actor who plays the lead role of Tommy Gavin in the popular television series, Rescue Me, set in a New York City Firehouse. Finally, I replied in a brief email: "Couldn't bear to go out with a firefighter. Lived 9/11. Melt at their sight."

He was rather good natured about the rejection, appreciating the apparent adoration. But he didn't push. I noted the obvious: "Interesting lack of bravado despite acts of courage and bravery." But then, several weeks later, another version of "Ebony FDNY" made a connection of his own. Well, a girl can change her mind, especially under the circumstances.

I was still reeling from the hurt of "T's" betrayal, after all. And the photos pouncing upon my computer screen told me that at least on the basis of his chocolaty skin, this man could just be the polar opposite of Vanilla T that I needed.

More to the point, as he sent photo after photo for my eyes only, I found him to be even better looking than Daniel Sunjata. And Sunjata, the actor who plays womanizer, Franco, in Rescue Me was voted by People Magazine as one of the 50 most beautiful people in 2003.

Going out with this firefighter wasn't going to take a lot more convincing.

When we finally began made the transition from email to a series of mini-dates, I found him to be the perfect counterpoint to Vanilla T in so many heart-throbbing ways. This man, dubbed "Mocha E" for his smooth ways and chocolaty skin, was definitely the flavor I needed. At least he was the flavor I wanted to taste.

His dark skin -- he was a mixture of Puerto Rican and American Indian -- full lips, and deep eyes made my body warm and full of want. It didn't matter if we were in Harlem's Starbucks for an iced tea or in Soho's trendy Balthazar's sharing an intimate plate of mussels. This tall dark and handsome man was Ice Cream for my eyes.

Yet Mocha E had an absolute rock solid determination to keep it platonic until…until….until, I don't know what. Until I finally couldn't bear it any longer.

When I finally got a taste -- the firm hands giving me a back rub and the intense deliberate kiss, stolen in a car after a day of rollerblading -- I had to have more.