When Tears Fall
An Autobiography
by
Book Cover & Preview Text
Growing Up Without You
I was never the type who wanted my father in the stands watching me play some type of ball game. No, that was never my personality or style; I never liked to play sports, although I loved watching them on television. What I wanted was for my dad to teach me how to be a man. I wanted him to teach me how to survive out in the streets—basically, I wanted him to teach me how to be a reasonable human being.
I say this because all I had ever known in my youth was the street life. Like most of the kids I grew up around, I was raised in a fatherless home, but I was different from these kids: my father resided on Death Row in California’s San Quentin Prison. When life would get difficult at home, despite Mama’s best efforts at keeping the family together, I would often think of my father. My siblings and I had countless “step-daddies,” none of whom we were ever able to call “Dad.” While Granny was always there to pick up the pieces for Mama, it was not enough to make up for the absence of a true father in our home.
Particularly when we were living with Eli, I grew very afraid. I was terrified of him! I always wondered as he beat mom and us children how a man could do this to a woman and her family. How could a man say, “I love you,” to a woman while keeping a straight face, and then turn around and slap her, or her child, in the face? I was very confused. If my biological father were here, I thought to myself, would he beat me like this? Would he beat my Mama like this?
Growing Up Without You
I was never the type who wanted my father in the stands watching me play some type of ball game. No, that was never my personality or style; I never liked to play sports, although I loved watching them on television. What I wanted was for my dad to teach me how to be a man. I wanted him to teach me how to survive out in the streets—basically, I wanted him to teach me how to be a reasonable human being.
I say this because all I had ever known in my youth was the street life. Like most of the kids I grew up around, I was raised in a fatherless home, but I was different from these kids: my father resided on Death Row in California’s San Quentin Prison. When life would get difficult at home, despite Mama’s best efforts at keeping the family together, I would often think of my father. My siblings and I had countless “step-daddies,” none of whom we were ever able to call “Dad.” While Granny was always there to pick up the pieces for Mama, it was not enough to make up for the absence of a true father in our home.
Particularly when we were living with Eli, I grew very afraid. I was terrified of him! I always wondered as he beat mom and us children how a man could do this to a woman and her family. How could a man say, “I love you,” to a woman while keeping a straight face, and then turn around and slap her, or her child, in the face? I was very confused. If my biological father were here, I thought to myself, would he beat me like this? Would he beat my Mama like this?
Growing Up Without You
I was never the type who wanted my father in the stands watching me play some type of ball game. No, that was never my personality or style; I never liked to play sports, although I loved watching them on television. What I wanted was for my dad to teach me how to be a man. I wanted him to teach me how to survive out in the streets—basically, I wanted him to teach me how to be a reasonable human being.
I say this because all I had ever known in my youth was the street life. Like most of the kids I grew up around, I was raised in a fatherless home, but I was different from these kids: my father resided on Death Row in California’s San Quentin Prison. When life would get difficult at home, despite Mama’s best efforts at keeping the family together, I would often think of my father. My siblings and I had countless “step-daddies,” none of whom we were ever able to call “Dad.” While Granny was always there to pick up the pieces for Mama, it was not enough to make up for the absence of a true father in our home.
Particularly when we were living with Eli, I grew very afraid. I was terrified of him! I always wondered as he beat mom and us children how a man could do this to a woman and her family. How could a man say, “I love you,” to a woman while keeping a straight face, and then turn around and slap her, or her child, in the face? I was very confused. If my biological father were here, I thought to myself, would he beat me like this? Would he beat my Mama like this?
I was never the type who wanted my father in the stands watching me play some type of ball game. No, that was never my personality or style; I never liked to play sports, although I loved watching them on television. What I wanted was for my dad to teach me how to be a man. I wanted him to teach me how to survive out in the streets—basically, I wanted him to teach me how to be a reasonable human being. I say this because all I had ever known in my youth was the street life. Like most of the kids I grew up around, I was raised in a fatherless home, but I was different from these kids: my father resided on Death Row in California’s San Quentin Prison. When life would get difficult at home, despite Mama’s best efforts at keeping the family together, I would often think of my father. My siblings and I had countless “step-daddies,” none of whom we were ever able to call “Dad.” While Granny was always there to pick up the pieces for Mama, it was not enough to make up for the absence of a true father in our home. Particularly when we were living with Eli, I grew very afraid. I was terrified of him! I always wondered as he beat mom and us children how a man could do this to a woman and her family. How could a man say, “I love you,” to a woman while keeping a straight face, and then turn around and slap her, or her child, in the face? I was very confused. If my biological father were here, I thought to myself, would he beat me like this? Would he beat my Mama like this? Growing Up Without You
Formats
Book Details
About the Book
There is no question that american youth between the ages of 18-30 are fighting unsparing forces of modern culture related to self, friends, family and society. former addict, drug dealer, and gang member verne johnson reveals the hidden secrets of his past and discloses the dangerous and powerful assaults and oppressions that threatened his life. with clarity and radical truth, he helps us to understand that there is a permanent, lasting hope and recovery to the struggles of drugs, alcohol, violence, incarceration,
sexual abuse, poverty and growing up as a bastard child.
About the Author
Verne Johnson was born on May 22, 1975 in Rockford, IL. For most of Verne’s prime years, he was known has a former gang member, drug dealer and addict. In February 1999, God called Verne unto himself to do a work for Him. After years of running the streets and running from God’s calling on his life he finally surrendered. He started volunteering at the Rockford Rescue Mission and the Salvation Army, serving food to the less fortunate. In 2001 he gave nearly 4 years of his life to Rockford M.E.L.D, a program for young moms and dads, as a mentor and a facilitator. But it was in April 2005, where the biggest blessing came. Verne started his career at Rosecrance, a substance abuse treatment center, as a counselor. For over four years God has blessed Verne with the ability and wisdom to work and help recovering addicts and alcoholics (at some of the most difficult times of their lives), while maintaining his own recovery. Verne also met the love of his life in 2005 at Rosecrance and married her on October 25, 2008. They have an eleven year old son and a daughter who was born June 5, 2009. On Easter Sunday in 2009, Verne and his family became members of Living Faith Tabernacle Church in Rockford, IL. Prior to becoming a member, he began working with the ministry and developed a self-help group called “New Life” which incorporates group work, education, and spiritual guidance for individuals who are new to recovery, as well as individuals who need extra support.