Awkward Bitch
My Life with MS
by
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On the 3rd of April, I went to bed feeling fine, except for a minor sore throat that was starting. I gargled with salt water beforehand, which seemed to take it away. I got in bed extra early so that I could wake up fresh and free of a sore throat.
Instead, I woke up in Wonderland again.
The alarm clock went off at the usual time. I opened my eyes and when I looked over to shut it off, there were two clocks instead of one. Again! This time, the two clocks were on top of each other. In my previous episodes, everything was side by side, so up and down was something new.
I immediately realised that I also had a dull pain in the back of my eyes when I turned them.
Shit, I thought. I don’t have time for this. It cannot be happening! I tried to focus on the clock and make it into one. I could almost do it. I got very close. I got up from the bed en route to the toilet and the room spun all around. Down was sideways and up was sideways. I went tumbling into my closet. Lucky for me, the closet door was open. Also lucky was that my fall was superbly softened by Dolce & Gabbana. Thanks guys!
I picked myself up and stumbled towards the toilet. I smashed into the bedroom doorjamb and then flew into the wall in my hallway. I got to the toilet, sat down, and closed my eyes.
I thought, maybe after I peed I would open my eyes and it would all be back to normal. That thought made no sense, but nothing did at that moment anyway.
No such luck. When I opened my eyes, I still could not focus on anything. There were two sinks on top of each other, two mirrors, two towel racks. You get the idea. I also realised that there were blind spots in my vision as well. One side of my vision had a whole area of darkness.
I burst out crying. I was alone in the house, since William had already gone to work. I started shouting out loud, ‘No, no, no! Why is this happening to me?’ Then I began an assault of blaring screams at God.
‘What the fuck do you want from me? Do you want me to learn something from all this suffering! All I’ve learnt is that suffering sucks!’ I was slumped over the toilet like a rag doll, weeping uncontrollably. I was in bad shape at that moment. We lived next to an elderly woman, and I can’t imagine what she thought from the ruckus.
I got off the toilet and stumbled to the living room. Again, I bounced off of a wall. Not only were things doubled, but also the floor felt and looked like it was on an angle. Walking felt like a cross between climbing and swimming. Climming: a new Olympic sport that I could perhaps win a medal in. I was completely disoriented. I sat on the sofa and closed my eyes again.
William, I wish you were still home, I thought like a lonely howling puppy. It was too early to ring him. He had only been gone for a half-hour, so he would still be on the tube.
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About the Book
Awkward Bitch: My Life with MS is a comically raw and refreshingly honest memoir about chasing dreams, losing control, and finding yourself again.
Marlo Donato Parmelee was living life on her terms. A vivacious fashionista by day and a determined musician by night, she left New York for London, ready to make her mark on the music scene. Armed with fierce ambition and a killer sense of style, Marlo juggled band gigs, songwriting, and her luxury retail day job with practiced ease. But only a month into her new life abroad, everything changed. Out of nowhere, her eyesight began to fade—and that was just the beginning.
What follows is a roller coaster journey across London, Paris, Miami, and New York as Marlo searches for answers. At thirty-five, she is diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS), the most common disabling neurological disease affecting young adults. Suddenly, she finds herself navigating not just a new city, but an entirely new life—one filled with needles, specialists, and a body that doesn’t always cooperate.
Told with biting humor, fierce resilience, and unapologetic honesty, Awkward Bitch chronicles Marlo’s transformation from an image-conscious fashion maven to a woman embracing her imperfections—and her power. As she wrestles with self-image, independence, and identity, she reclaims her life and redefines success on her own terms.
This is not a story about giving up. It’s about showing up. For yourself. For your dreams. And for the life you didn’t see coming.
Awkward Bitch will resonate with anyone living with chronic illness, struggling to stay fabulous against the odds, or simply looking for an unflinching—and unexpectedly funny—story of resilience.
About the Author
American author, musician, mother, and lover of life, Marlo Donato Parmelee was born 29 May, 1972. She is the youngest daughter of an Irish mother and Sicilian- American father. Marlo grew up on Long Island, NY and received a BA in classical Music from the Aaron Copland School of Music at Queens College, NYC. She has lived in London for the past five years.
By day, Marlo is the UK support manager for luxury fashion brand, Donna Karan International. By night, she takes to the stage in her solo music project, Marlo Donato (www.myspace.com/marlodonato). As she says, ‘fashion is my passion, and music is my religion. Storytelling, whether it is in music or written form, is how I express my spirit.’
She is a member of ASCAP (American Society of Composers Authors and Publishers) and her music has been played on radio stations in the US, UK, and Australia. She has been interviewed on Long Island radio WGBB, London’s LBC News and has appeared on BBC’s City Hospital, where her music was featured as well. Her EP, Marlo can be purchased at amazon.com.
Awkward Bitch: My Life with MS is Marlo’s first book.
In 2004, at the age of 32, Marlo was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, the most common neurological disease amongst young adults today. From diagnosis her attitude has been 'forget MS, I still look hot!'
She has worked with the MS Society and charities such as Attitude is Everything to raise awareness for MS and other disabling conditions.
Marlo has a popular Youtube channel www.youtube.com/teslagirlm where she vlogs candidly and amusingly about her battle with MS. Her topics include sex, injecting medication, pregnancy, fatigue, and travelling.
Marlo lives in London with her fiancee and daughter.