Still More Brown County Stories

According to witnesses, two young women had been waiting rather impatiently in line to be let in the restaurant.   When they were given the nod, they quickly moved to seats at the counter and placed their short orders.  After the waitress headed for the kitchen to give their orders to Ed, they both got up and went into the toilet.  The toilet was tiny.  The stool and a small lavatory sink had been shoehorned into a space barely big enough for those fixtures and one person at a time.  With the two women inside it was difficult to even close the door.  Maybe they both had to go so bad that they thought they couldn’t hold it any longer and the first to go could yield the seat to the other one before getting fully dressed.  Whatever was their original plan, with urgency as the mother of invention, it was quickly scrapped. A “brilliant” new approach was put into action.  While one young woman was on the throne, the other pulled down her pants and climbed up to squat over the lavatory sink.  She had just started to get some blessed relief, when all hell broke loose—and the sink—and the water pipes!  Screaming at the top of her lungs, she fell forward onto her startled companion and then rolled against the toilet door.  The door burst open and the two water-soaked women with their pants down about their knees came crawling out into the crowd of flabbergasted diners.  Ina told Ed to go down in the basement and shut off the pump, while she called the Town Marshall and gathered information from the mortified women.  She vowed they would “sure as hell” be paying for the damage.  The restaurant had to be closed for a couple of days while repairs were made.  The other patrons of the little restaurant on that fateful day had some hilarious entertainment with their food. Of course, this story was told and retold around town and all over the county.  When it got around to Bummer Mobley on his favorite bar stool at the Old Hickory Tavern he said, “it only showed how stupid some city girls could look when they were showing their asses out in the country”.