A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Gozo

            Wash that neck

I can still hear the words of my mother and Dad,

The content still lingers, it,s ever so sad.

I can,t hear that tap, she would shout round the door,

And don,t get that water all over the floor.

The inspection came next as she twisted my ear.                       

You haven,t used much water this morning that,s clear

This neck,s got a tide mark, she,d convey to Dad

If it,s spotted they,ll reckon we,re all just as bad.

Seageant majors could learn such a lot from my Mum

The Gestapo also would benefit some

She knew all the tricks, and I,d tried every one

To get out of washing, she never missed none

I remember one morning, I was ever so proud,

I feigned a real sickness, moaned ever so loud

In the end she backed down, there,d be no school today

Then I stupidly let out a hip hip hooray

When I look back now, I should have enjoyed

The thrust and the parry, I should have been buoyed

But it all seemed a trial this battle of wits                                   

The check round the ears and the search for the nits.

This endless attempt not to do all things right

Now seems so pointless, a waste of a fight

But stubborn I stayed to the very last day,

You,d think for the effort I,d get my own way

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