GOD IS ABLE

When I was growing up I was very a restless child. I couldn’t wait until I finish high school so I could leave home. My father was a Preacher and a very nice man. My mother was a housewife, she was a nice person but we couldn’t get along. I couldn’t do anything right in her eyesight. I got beaten for things I didn’t do and for things I didn’t deserve to be beaten for. I try to buy my mother’s love because I thought she didn’t love me. As a child, I thought “ If you love someone you won’t beat them they way I got beaten.”

I had lots of headaches as a child. I was afraid to express myself to my mother, so I did a lot of crying. I felt like I had split personality. My parents took me to lots of Doctors but they couldn’t find anything wrong with me. They took me to many tent meetings to see if I could be healed. Nothing work. I kept on having headaches. I kept on hoping and dreaming for the day I graduate from school and leave home, because I was so tired of getting beaten with an extension code, stick, knife, or anything she got her hands on. It really hurt me physically and mentally because my brother and I was the only one she beat like that. I had six sisters and six brothers so I couldn’t understand why I was getting beat on all the time.

The day of my graduation was a great day for me; I know it won’t be long before I could leave home. A month after graduation I went to New York to my oldest sister. I got a job working at the Telephone Company. Every week I would send money home to my mother because I was still trying to buy her love, but it still didn’t work. Every time I went home to visit my mother and I would always start auguring and I end up leaving before my vacation is up.

I started having dreams about my mother and every time in my dreams she would make me cry. Sometimes I would wake up out of my sleep crying.

A Year and a half after I move to New York I got married. I thought he was a wonderful man until he started beaten on me also. After I had second child he changed over night. He started drinking alcohol and coming home drunk, which ended up in a fight between us. I felt like a punching bag. I wanted to leave him but my mother told me to stay because of the children. After my third child, which was ten years later I couldn’t take it any longer. One day he came home drunk we started fighting, he pick up a recliner and threw it at me that recliner miss me by two inches. So he decided to take his hard sole shoe and hit me on my ankle. My ankle became bruise. The next day I file for a divorce. A few months later I start having problems with my ankle. I went to the Doctor and I found out that the bruise on my ankle turned into a tumor. I had to have an operation on my ankle. The Doctor had to take a  bone from my right hip and put it in my ankle because the bones in my ankle were deteriorated. I had to wear a cast for eight month. I had to learn how to walk again. Only three good things came out of my marriage and that was my three lovely children, two boys and one girl.