December 3, 2005
6:30 am
About 4 o’clock this morning, the Lord woke me up. As I lay there thinking, I will go back to sleep, I realized I felt rested and awake, very unusual for me. I got up, went into the living room and turned on the Christmas trees. It was especially quiet there at 4 am.
I could feel God’s presence and I lit all of the candles. There is a lovely prayer alter in one corner of my living room that my friend Larry has decorated. A handmade, varnished, wooden fireplace is in the other corner. There is a little Christmas tree flattened into the corner up above the fireplace with crystal-like angels sparkling from the reflection in the clear lights, as well as the silver ornaments and strings of pearls draped from branch to branch.
As I lit the 17 candles, which were all around the room high and low, it took on a special glow that is hard to describe. Sitting quietly on the sofa, I waited, becoming very aware of my surroundings. The presence of the Holy Spirit moved in on me.
The Lord then said to me, "This is going to be one of those things where if you listen to me and do what I say, I am going to open doors beyond your imagination."
Upon His instruction, today I will begin this book.
This book seems long overdue, but God’s timing is perfect. Many times, I have thought about all the things that God has done for me. Now, I can share some of the things with you to encourage you not to give up.
As I sit here in my small apartment in Six Churches Plaza, I’m thinking, what a tabernacle and sanctuary! It amazes me to know how the Lord has brought me to this place in my life and to this little predominately black town of Kinston, North Carolina.
However, to understand how I came to this point, I am going to backtrack in time about 13 years ago when I was living in Southern Illinois. My husband, Phil and I had been married 32 years and were now in the process of getting a divorce. Our sons, Terry and Jon, were 22 yrs and 18 yrs old at the time. I did not realize the impact the divorce would have on them, since they were older.
Our marriage had fallen apart for several reasons, mainly, because we were not standing on The Word. Jesus was not the center of both of our lives and we were not fully committed to each other. Too much self had entered into the picture and other things had taken the place of commitment.
It is not necessary to go into what happened or whose fault it was. It was the lack of knowledge and commitment on both our parts. Nevertheless, it was devastating and I did not want to be single. It was a turning point in my life.
In my deepest despair, this was the beginning of a closer walk with Jesus Christ. I had only glimpses of this kind of relationship with Him now and then. I knew Him, loved Him, but did not allow Him or even know how to let Him direct my life.
One day, while at a chiropractor treatment, my Christian doctor asked if I were going to church anywhere. It was very hard to go where Phil and I had gone together. Our mutual friends were always asking about how we were doing.
My friend told me about a spirit-filled church in West Frankfort, IL called Praise World Outreach. He said I might like it and maybe it would help me, so I decided to try it.
As soon as I walked into the place, the Holy Spirit made me feel at home. Praise and worship began and the pastor said, "The Holy Spirit wants to minister to some of you this morning. If you need a special touch from God this morning, come on down front."
Lord, did I ever. There was such a heavy weight of depression on my shoulders from the divorce. I felt like half a person. I felt degraded just from the very word divorce and an utter failure.