Mercy for the Forsaken

My brother Tommy lived most of his adult life homeless and addicted to alcohol. His death raised many questions of “Why?” Why had he turned to alcohol having been raised in an alcohol-free home? He was smart, handsome, young, very likeable, and a hard worker. Most of all, why wasn’t he able to overcome an abusive childhood and fit into society?

To answer these questions it was necessary to plow through the early memories of our childhood and go back in time. Bones of our past that were long ago buried had to be unearthed and exposed to the light of new sight, the hindsight of age and with it a better understanding and wisdom.

It wasn’t my intention to write a “Daddy dearest” manuscript but in order to place the blame with its rightful owner, it was necessary to expose our father’s abuse.

Abuse was indeed the hypothetical bullet that pierced Tommy’s heart and crippled his spirit. I simply shined a light on the hands of the person that held the smoking gun.

Like many abused children, Tommy loved and looked up to his abusive father, viewing Daddy as the perfect man no other could compare to.

Placing Daddy on top a pedestal left Tommy to carry the burden of blame on his own back. The abuse he suffered became his own fault in his mind. He grew up believing he was stupid, worthless, and could never be as good as others. Deserving the slap at three years old, which slammed him into the floor because his shoes were on the wrong feet. Blind sided, he never really saw Daddy for who he was, a bully and coward … I did.

A sister should never have to “write” a wrong done to her brother but if it can help other Tommys then the pen in my hand becomes an uplifted sword, a sword to do battle against child abuse, homelessness, and alcoholism.

In January 2007, California passed a “NO SPANKING” law for children under the age of three. I would like to see all of our states do the same. The message California has sent to the rest of the world is that it’s state cares about children.

Tommy survived brutal beatings that began when he was a toddler. As he aged his beatings grew progressively worse. The fact that he didn’t die of a blood clot from severe bruising makes his life one of miraculous and divine intervention.

Since childhood, the question “Why didn’t God help us?” burned unanswered in my heart. It would take me a lifetime to understand that while He wouldn’t take away Daddy’s free will, His hand was always holding onto ours. All scripture was taken from the King James version of the Holy Bible.

Led by the beautiful voice of Celine Dion lifting God in song (Celine Dion, “These Are Special Times”) helped me find the courage to revisit times from my past filled with darkness and despair. She sang, I wrote. “Thank You, Celine.”

This manuscript is my song to humanity. In its pages beats a rhythm of hope that through “Mercy For The Forsaken,” other Tommys will be helped and mercy find them before they are lost to the streets of despair, leaving their family and loved ones to ask, “Why?”

Darla Scheuch Kellar