Thanksgiving Gravy
The Memoirs of a Grieving Mother
by
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“ Jacob’s Memorial”
It started with the early morning phone call. When I heard my youngest sons voice, Levi, I knew something was wrong. “He’s dead ,Mom”. “Jacob’s dead”. I just stood there in the middle of my living room in shock ; why I could hardly speak. I said ,“What ?.” .“What do you mean ,Jacob’s dead?”. He just repeated it to me, that he was dead until I got it, as I was too much in shock to really receive much. I just kept saying something like “No”, “No ,it can’t be”, and I don’t even know if I cried I was so shocked and in disbelief on the phone.
How could Jacob be dead ,as he was only twenty-six and I just talked to him a few weeks prior on the telephone ,and he was laughing and crying and telling me how happy he was.?
I finally said goodbye and hung up my phone in shock after asking my son if he was ok.
So we , Robert and I , packed that day and left for
I had just quit smoking cigarettes a couple weeks before all this happened but I just had to do something with my hands so I started smoking again on the trip . I have so regretted that move.
He lived in Oakridge ,a small town east of
I kept breaking down and crying as Jacobs death would become more real to me the closer we got. Then there was the numbness too. The state of shock where deep inside I was saying “No” , this can’t be happening . My son Jacob cannot be dead. I love him and I need him and his father and brothers need him and he just can’t be dead. God wouldn’t allow this , surely. There must be a mistake. Sometimes I didn’t feel anything.
Then I’d break down a cry again and sob and weep and gasp for air and say “I just can’t believe this, I just can’t believe this. He just can’t be gone. This hurts so bad.”
But mostly I was silent. Silent and in shock.
It was a very long trip of beautiful green February fields and pretty mountains and then we reached the forest areas . Such long stretches of highway and so much time to think. Oh, the memories that came flooding back to me of Jacob as a teen living with us and cooking and helping raise his brothers . That worked out well. Then there were all the close calls he had had in the past and probably many times that God had saved him from overdoses in the past. Why not this time Lord. ? Why not Lord.? What was so different. ? Was he trying to kill himself. ? What was he thinking.? I know he was sick. He had bronchitis. Why did he have to take so much medicine?
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About the Book
“Thanksgiving Gravy” The memoirs of a grieving mother; shares both the tragedy and the triumph , a matchless journey through Judy’s grief and recovery process over a period of three years . Her short stories and poems will delight you and give you hope as they are writings that can be identified with. She is real in her depiction of her son who was an alcoholic with a drug problem who lived on the edge. A light hearted chap who loved others and was always helping others but lacked self love. A young man who was in the prime of his life with everything to live for .
Thanksgiving Gravy is a great cookies and milk book for the griever and anyone who has ever lost a loved one or anyone close to them. It is filled with identifiable stories and wonderful poetry that warms the heart and gives body to the subject of loss. It will offer much healing I believe as Judy goes through her own journey of grieving. Judy makes the “other side” real.
The intended audience for this book would be someone who has recently lost a loved one more than likely or who had lost a loved one in the near past. Losses like this tend to hold on to one and stay fresh. You can’t read enough on the subject of loss. Also a good book for those who love poetry about the beyond and heartfelt emotion.
*I can see from your submission that you have the excellent ability to write and communicate your ideas….Hopefully, this book can help others to achieve success in dealing with tragedy and keep them from that personal experience. …Powerful, Touching, and emotional writing!!!"
Dr. Richard Tate ,Tate Publishing & Enterprises
*An insightful thought provoking journey into the recovery process of a grieving mother. This book opens the window of the soul to step into Judy’s world in a three dimensional fashion . It is a most astounding experience of loss, love and life. A must read.!!!!
Devon Harrison
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