Front Line Observer
A casualty report from the battle for the family
by
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What is the issue that is most common within the families of the kids who have lived with us? The issue is the fact that in the lives of these kids, there really is no family, at least in the traditional and historically defined sense. There is instead, a poor and unsuccessful counterfeit substitute for a family. This counterfeit has naturally fallen apart, and so Debbie and I have then become the substitute family for the children.
Many in our society have tried to change the definition of a family, but these new definitions have not changed the need that kids have or the consequences of not meeting that need. Defining family as simply people who "care about each other" or who live together or who have sex and make babies together creates counterfeit "families", which in turn make unstable kids and an unstable society. It is clear that kids who do not have the nurturing of a stable, loving family do not make wise choices or thrive and become well-adjusted adults. They don't because some of their needs are not met. These kids, in turn, will not know how to stop this destructive cycle without help, but will repeat the cycle unless they realize the need for help, decide to make different choices than the previous generation, and find the support and help to do so. We must face reality as individuals and as a society. It's this simple: Whatever causes pain to our children and destroys our families is wrong. Period
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About the Book
America, it's time to wake up and realize what the war against the family has done to our kids. My hope is that, in addition to telling stories about kids who have shared our home, Front Line Observer may be your wake up call. Front Line Observer is a mixture of stories and lessons learned from 29 years of working and living with kids. Included in these 29 years are 24 years of residential work with kids in foster care. I tell some stories about the kids, and share what my wife and I have learned about why kids are removed from their parents or are placed in foster care. I will tell about the damage done to our children by the disintrigation of the family in our society and by those who do not understand the value of our children. I will show how those in our society who are willing to destroy the family are hurting our children. I will share what we have seen about how the casualties in the war against the family are our children. Kids who come into foster care and into our home almost never come from families consisting of parents who are a mom and dad who are married and together. Instead, they come from parents who have chosen "alternatives" to the traditional family or to have counterfeit "families". In particular, I will confront fathers who refuse to accept responsibility for their children and families, and present ideas on how we can motivate these fathers to take responsibility for their children. I will also present ideas for anyone who wants to help children who are hurting from an absent dad, or who wants to join the battle in the fight for the family.
About the Author
Mark and Debbie Loftin have been working together with children and teenagers for 29 years, starting in 1977 with volunteer work with kids in the Chicago inner city. For 24 of those years they have been houseparents or directors of residential programs for children. There have been 300 kids sharing their home during these years. For 19 years, Mark and Debbie served as the live-in directors of the New Life Youth Home, a small group home for teenagers located in rural West Tennessee. The Loftins are also the adoptive parents of two girls. They continue to work with children and families through the Dyersburg-Dyer County Union Mission and the Mission Youth Center. Their work has kept them on the front line in the battle for our kids and to preserve and strengthen our families. Their passion for kids has compelled Mark to share some stories and, like an observer in a battle, to report to the rest of us how our kids are hurting and to expose those who are hurting them.