Behind Every Strong Black Woman, There Is A Bastard Black Man

Why can’t I find a girl that’s ready to gimme punany eh? Why? I mean, I’m going on 25 and I’m still a raasclart virgin. What am I doing wrong? It’s not that I can’t get a girl. It’s just that whatever I do, I cannot manage to get them into bed. Sorry ladies, I don’t mean to sound like a ‘pum-pum’ instinct freak or nothing but I just want to go that step further in a relationship. I’ve had so many girlfriends in the past and not one of them was ready for a sexual relationship. Why? All my friends get it. Well, at least they say they do. I just feel left out that’s all. I’m a loving and caring black man and I am ready to look after my woman through thick and through thin. What do I seem to do wrong that I cannot bed my own lovers? It’s frustrating, really it is. It’s like the other guys (players) get all the sex when it is obvious they are gonna dog their partner out. I’m a black guy that actually cares for his woman. One of the few if you ask me. Especially from the South London area. Brixton to be more precise. If I was to tell anyone of my bredjrins that I come from Brixton and can’t get a girl in bed they’ll probably think I was some ‘pussy hole’ or something. No, no, no. I keep that a secret from friends. I’m not that stupid. Nobody knows I’m a virgin except for my brothers and sisters. Infact, all my bredjrins dem are under the impression that I’m a ‘gallice’, some woman magnet rude boy.

I used to think that this virgin problem stemmed from the fact that I was still at college and without my own place, studying for my A’Levels, and that ladies wanted a real man with a good job, own yard and…you know, someone to look after them. I was wrong. I mean, I’m not doing that badly for myself work wise right now and I still ain’t bedded nothing,

I work in this massive building in the city rude boy. Eight floors. I’m on the 6^th. Been working there for long since way back when rude boy. I’m on good money yuh nuh bredjrin! Good money.

Alright, alright, I’m employed by Erocdrah Recruitment Agency. I’m on £7.00 an hour, but that’s not what I tell the gal dem. It’s all about exaggeration you get me? I’ll tell you what I do though, it’s working for the CJU and that. Criminal Justice something or some shit like that. Worked there for about 3 months now as a Communications Officer. The title of my job sounds hard innit? Tell you the truth I don’t do much.  A few telephone calls here and there, moving bits of paper to and fro, a criss shirt and tie every morning to look slick. You know how it goes. I’ve moved out my mum’s place now. Got my own council house rude boy, still in Brixton though. I still ain’t getting shit from no beanie. Alright,  alright so I’ve only now moved out of the bedroom that I used to share with my younger brother and into the room next door.  SO!? I know a fifty-year old man that still shares a bedroom with his dad. There’s nothing wrong with that.

 Anyway, I’ve tried the hard man approach once taught to me by my elder brothers Jeffrey and Brian, I’ve tried the pussy bwoy approach that I made up myself, you know the ' heartical pussy bwoy’ approach that results in a woman walking all over you with no respect whatsoever. I’ve done the smooth approach, slick, yuppie, sweetboy, don gargonish, merciless, criss, dapper, original and all but hey, I’m still a virgin. Nothing seems to rectify this problem and even though I have Maryanne whom I love and adore, I'm finding it difficult in getting between her legs. You see, she too is a virgin and UNLIKE some people she DOESN'T want to break her virginity until she's older. To make matters worse she's still at secondary school doing her GCSE's. The amount of people that stare at me when I take her out; boy oh boy, as if I was a paedophile or something. Do you know I once actually considered paying a prostitute for the goods? Alright, alright, I haven't gone that far yet but it's imminent. Basically, I need a woman that's going to give up the goods. To tell you the truth, the way in which I've been deprived of it, I think I deserve some nymphomaniac type slapper that wants it at least three times a day every day of the week until I'm satisfied I've had enough. I need a woman, I need one big time.