The Baroness of Bakersfield

Edmund drove excitedly past the school mascot—a 30- foot tall polar bear, which towered over the campus like a giant Colossus. Of course, the monument was not nearly as picturesque or well-known as Notre Dame’s “Touchdown Jesus,” but it was distinctive in its own way. The Polars, who had developed very good records in football, basketball and track over the years, were located about halfway between the UC Berkeley Bears and the UCLA Bruins. The UCL choice of a mascot was very fitting because it often snowed in Lebec, Frazier Mountain, Fort Tejon and the other little towns along the Grapevine. This morning Edmund noticed students had apparently added a special touch to the statue (as they often did): there was a humongous bouquet of red and white balloons taped to the bear’s right paw. Red and white, (the UCL colors) were often punctuated with accents of sparkly silver on the various school uniforms. And on cool evenings, students often congregated for a bonfire at the fire pit adjacent to the enormous bear, where they could be heard chanting things like, “A polar bear’s gonna come from the Arctic and grab you… and he ain’t gonna let you go”…etc.