Loving The Children

      It is of utmost importance to know that God is always present in this chaotic world.  There is no more important place to apply this knowing than in the family.  For the family is the place where God's love is learned.  It does not matter as much whether a family practices a formalized religion.  The important matter is the presence of love - God's love - in the relationships within the family.  If love is absent or drowned out by chaos and dysfunction, the children become emotionally stunted.  The precious time of childhood becomes the breeding ground of hatred, anger, negative thinking and ill will in all of its forms.  The seeds of adult dysfunction are sown early and last a lifetime.  Adults are capable of choosing their beliefs.  Children have fewer choices.  They do not decide which family to be affiliated with.  They live under the conditions that they are born into.  They cannot dictate to the adults.  It is not until they are adults that they have an audible and credible voice.  They are in the formative stages of their lives.  The children are effectively the "captive audience".

      Using the metaphor of planting seeds and growing a productive crop, we can look at childhood as a fertile time.  The seeds planted in the young impressionable mind settle deep within the heart and psyche.  The child enters the world without an agenda and without preconceived notions of the ways of this life.  He/she is open to the possibilities and has no basis of comparison.  What is simply is.  There is no guidebook for this life.  There is no blueprint for either child or parent.

      The process of childrearing is a hands-on experience.  There is no definite job descripton except to feed and nurture this new entity, this tiny spirit.  There is also no prerequisite for the job.  Parents take the job from a range of backgrounds, ready or not.  Some know what they are getting into when they become parents.   For those who choose to become parents, the child is often a welcome event.  The child is embraced from conception forward.  Even if the timing is not seen as perfect, eventually the child is seen as an enhancement.  He or she is seen as a chosen addition whose presence creates or completes the family unit more fully.  This is cause for celebration.

      Conception and childbirth are not always seen as a miracle however.  In fact statistics on abortion show us that many a child is turned away as an unwelcome burden.  "Readiness" for parenthood is frequently an afterthought or not even a thought.  Age is no criteria because there are plenty of 12 to 15 year olds having babies.  Emotional health and maturity are not criteria, nor is mental stability.  Educational level, physical health, socio-economic level, cultural and religious background, location, marital status and other factors are not criteria for conception.  Children arrive into all sorts of scenarios whether they are welcome or not. 

      Children come in all shapes, sizes, and levels of ability.  Unlike flower seeds or seeds for corn, oats, wheat, etc., there is no set pattern of development and no set of cultivation practices that suit all children.  Each child is an individual soul, unpredictable and unknown.  Each has untapped potentials and unique needs.  It is the caregiver's job to identify, acknowledge and nurture these particular gifts that each child brings to our world.  Unlike corn that grows straight and tall in equally spaced rows, children are irregular.  They react differently to routine care and feeding because they are each unique.  It is this very uniqueness that is dumbfounding because we know not of whence it came...