A Brother's Love
A Memoir
by
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Life goes on—or so it is said. Why does it have to be that way? Why does a person have to “get on with their life” after they suffer a tragedy? I can’t answer that question for the life of me. All I do know is that, in my case, I never actually got on with my life, at least not the life I had been leading. See, I lost my brother, Andy, in a violent car accident on
The day that he died is when my epiphany began. I cannot explain why he had to die, but I have come to realize that I do not need to know “why.” It is not for me or you or anyone else to explain why God does what He does. This is what FAITH is all about. Being unable to physically see something, yet still believing that it does exist is what most religions, especially Christianity, are based on. I BELIEVE in God. I BELIEVE that He is a benevolent God. I BELIEVE that He took my brother for reasons that cannot be humanly explained or understood. I have FAITH that all things in the world happen for a reason. I also BELIEVE that God has given all of us the ability to make choices and that the results of those choices are sometimes negative.
However, for my brother, he did not make a mistake or an error in judgment. He was just in a car, driving home from work, and for some unknown reason, he became unconscious and veered into an oncoming vehicle. He did not choose this; it was chosen for him. God made the decision to bring Andy home to Him. As a result of this, I had to make a decision: be angry and hateful toward not only the world but also to God, OR accept Andy’s death and have FAITH that God had other plans for Andy. I chose the latter.
My life was going forward whether or not Andy had died, but the direction my life took was significantly altered due to his death. I used Andy as an inspiration, a source of strength, and my gauge as to whether or not I am living my life as he would have lived his. I cannot be Andy, but I can use his life and his actions as a barometer to better my own life. I did not “get on with my life.” I changed my course.
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About the Book
One’s role models in life are often found in the unexpected. The person who is our confidant and hero, or role model, may well be a teacher, parent, sibling, or friend who is appreciated too late. For me, my role model was my brother, Andy, who died too soon, at the age of twentyone. Unexpected? Yes. Andy’s story and my own as it unfolds will tell the tale of two brothers who were each others’ best friend. We had a childhood filled with love, joy, laughter, and sadness. Unfortunately for me, I was so busy being my “brother’s keeper” that I never realized the phenomenal human being my brother, Andy, had become. It took Andy’s death for me to realize the “role model” I had lost. Death stole my chance ever to say thank you while Andy was alive.
This memoir shares the emotions of a brother’s love. Each of my life’s accomplishments has in some way been shaped by my brother’s life and the way he lived it. Born with a cloud over his head, Andy struggled to learn and to fit in. Born with a rainbow in his heart, Andy would love and be loved in a way that I finally came to understand too late. This memoir is my gift of gratitude to my hero and role model. May it inspire those who read it to express their appreciation to those people who have made them into who they are today. In my case, it is my brother, who I loved more than I ever knew.
A Brother’s Love is Andy’s story and mine; it is a love story for all ages.
Author's note: Please visit www.abrothersloverun.org
About the Author
As a tribute to my beloved brother, Andy Cubbler, I wrote A Brother’s Love: A Memoir. I was born and raised in
From 1994 to 2002, I served as a police officer in suburban
In 1997, I married the love of my life, Lauren. We now have two beautiful children, Rebecca Linne, who is eight years old, and Andrew Lucas, who is four years old. Without their constant love, support, and encouragement, A Brother’s Love: A Memoir would never have been written.
After the tragedy of 9/11, I felt compelled to join the fight against terror. In early 2002, I was hired as a special agent with the
Louise and Paul Jones, my mother and stepfather, continue to be a source of strength and love. Not only did my mother raise Andy and me to be the men she hoped we would be, she also served as my unofficial editor for the book. Louise is a retired high school English teacher and was instrumental in the historical correctness of the content in the book. Paul is a minister in the United Church of Christ and a constant reminder of the man I hope to become.