Channeled By God

The entire trip had taken roughly 2 months.  I had learned so much, had many adventures, and even though many people referenced me to the book, “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance,” (a book I would finally read many years later), I was pretty much going my own way.  I had had mystical experiences (so I thought), found a home with my spiritual peers, and now had a tool bag very full for my work.  I would now be able to handle any and all human behavior scenarios, work with people on all levels of the psyche, and I would be able to spread the message of this dynamic and comprehensive approach to life.  How naive I was. 

While I paid lip service to including God, and believed in my heart that I was serving Him and His children, as I look back on it now, I was still doing it by myself.  And that’s the trap.  Great intentions, a good heart, effort beyond measure, and the best possible use of mental ability, all add up to little as long as I’m still running the show.  I just didn’t know that at the time.  So I blasted along, trying to rationalize my destructive way of living (alcohol, drugs, promiscuity), and I was able to pull it off.  It would catch up with me, but I didn’t have a clue.  Oh yes, there were signs.  I’d had a couple of drinking experiences when I’d gotten drunk without intending to in very unlikely circumstances, and I used to get a dim nagging feeling when I’d write in my journal after smoking marijuana.  But I could quickly dismiss them by refocusing on what I was truly striving for, and then could back that up with diligent effort at work and human service.

What I see now is that good intentions, good works, plans, actions, solving problems, making a helpful gesture, and all of it that’s on the positive side, will not bear fruit nor have a lasting effect without the blessing of the Holy Spirit.  However, I also see how God can take these good intentions and works, even when He’s been left out, and turn them into positive stepping stones.  It’s all leading to including Him all of the time as He’s made it very clear that is what He wishes.  A good metaphor regarding this came to me recently in an AA meeting.

It goes something like this.  What if there was a situation that I totally created, and that couldn’t exist without me.  I created the people involved, the format, the conditions, the physical structure, and every aspect of the situation.  It was going on, pleasantly or not, and I walked in and sat down; and everyone ignored me.  I think I would feel hurt, sad, and angry.  I would wonder deeply why I was not being acknowledged or included.  What my reaction would be as this present human being is to perhaps lash out, maybe ask why, walk out dejectedly, or perhaps clearly request inclusion.  That’s me as a human being.  What God does I can’t say.  I’m not Him.

But what I do know is that He wishes to be included.  It even makes logical sense.  Why wouldn’t He?  He made the whole thing.  He has a very vested interest.  It’s His baby.  And it won’t continue without His energy, or whatever it is He infuses to keep life going.  So He simply asks if it wouldn’t be too much to at least include Him in the goings-on.  So that’s what I’d like to do; include Him in everything, from something important to something menial, from eating to sleeping, from talking to listening, from working to playing, and on and on. However, it must always be done with reverence.  And if I’m misbehaving a little, probably better to leave Him out and discuss it with Him later.  At least that’s my best thinking to date.