Guardian Angels Along My Homeless Path

After listening to Dr. P, I felt reassured that I would be an effective instructor.  From then on, I began to plan mentally and physically how I would instruct my class.

Close to the start of the semester, I received a call from the head of department.  “Ulyses can you come over to my office, I need to talk to you,” he said.  I left what I was doing and rushed over to see him.  As soon as I reached the door of his office, he said, “I am sorry, you won’t be able to teach.”  I told him thanks and left.

Back in Dr. P’s office, I kept wondering about the rejection.  I had provided FAMU with all my documentation, transcripts, letters of recommendation, driver’s license etc., and signed the necessary employment papers.  Why the sudden denial.  I kept thinking that it could be because of my prison history.  But, my past record of arrests is known.  Furthermore, it is well documented in my Masters thesis.  If university officials were concerned about my past they could have informed me about it before signing the employment offer.   They need not have waited until the first week of school to inform me that I was considered ineligible for employment.  Extremely disappointed, I did my best to hide my emotional state.

FAMU would not have made history had they hired me, an ex-convict, to teach.  Many colleges and universities have ex-convicts within their faculty ranks.  And these individuals have contributed immensely to the criminal justice field.  Richard Jones, Stephen Richards and Edward Tromanhauser have all served time in prison.  Not only have these men become faculty members at various universities, they have made significant contributions to the field of criminal justice with their insiders’ assessments of prisons.  As I reflected on the lives of these professors, I couldn’t help but think of the many students who benefited from them.

Since attending FAMU, I have always used my past history to deter students from a life of crime.  Teaching would have allowed me to reach a wider audience of students, not only to influence them away from criminal activities, but also to train them to become better mentors to at risk youths. I have lived and suffered the consequences of being a problem youth.  I have regretted my past, and my future has already passed on by.  Am I not a prime example of what happens to someone with a criminal past?  If I am not, then who is?  I am haunted by my past, ashamed of my present and afraid about my future.  In fact, what is my future when my past has contaminated my present?  And, my present, which leads into the future, is already darkened with hopelessness and degradation?  Each day I live in fear of the future.  I do not see how the lives of today’s at-risk youths will be better than mine, if they do not receive proper guidance.