God's Other Children; A Spiritual Journey In Gay Life

     Before admitting to God and myself that I was a lesbian, I used to pray for Him to change me, to make me heterosexual. My gayness could not possibly be a choice; no one would choose a lifestyle that would bring scorn and ridicule upon one’s self. It just so happened that it was not God’s will to make me “straight”. He obviously has a plan and a purpose for me just the way I am. All I know is that I’m grateful to Him for saving me. I want to do all I can for God, but sometimes I feel like I’m not doing enough; I know there will never be a way that I can repay Him for all that He’s done, but all I can do for now is continue to praise Him and try to live my life to glorify His name.

     Some of you may be wondering how a lesbian can glorify the name of God; well, if being born a homosexual is really a sin, then it would be no different than how a murderer, a thief, a liar, a drunkard or any other sinner would glorify God if they consider themselves Christians. Since there is no one without sin then it must be accurate to say that all Christians are sinners. It doesn’t matter what your transgression is we are all still sinners.  Those who think they are without sin are actually committing a sin with that line of thinking as well. The Christians that do the finger pointing and gossiping about homosexuals seem to think that they will not go to Hell on Judgment Day because they are heterosexual; I believe they have forgotten about the other sins they may be guilty of committing. For example, I remember attending one Sunday morning service, and one of our transgendered fellow parishioners was serving as usher. It was time to pass the collection plate for tithes, and the usher proudly served “her” God by collecting the money in “her” assigned section of the pews. I couldn’t help but notice an older heterosexual couple gawking ignorantly at the usher. I saw the man lean over to his wife and mouth the words, “That’s a man,” and then start to snicker. The wife made sure she paid closer attention to God’s servant so that she too could mock the usher behind “her” back. Now this is the kind of action that is labeled a sin. This couple was not doing anything to glorify God, but they had the audacity to sit there in church and ridicule a transgendered man who was devoting his life to serving a God that he obviously loved. I certainly don’t consider what the elderly couple did to be very Christ-like, and since God is always watching what we do, I hardly believe that He took very kindly to it either. The God that I worship would not care one way or the other that the woman who was collecting tithes for God’s storehouse was actually a man in women’s clothing. For me, the transgendered man was more of a Christian than the couple who made fun of him.

     The same goes for ministers who will not welcome a homosexual into their church, and churches that defrock gay clergymen, or ban them completely from preaching and ordination.  I will however, give credit where it is due. My old Baptist church that used to demoralize anyone that it thought had a hint of homosexual tendencies is no longer practicing those narrow-minded ethics. The church recently obtained a new pastor, and he is the epitome of what Christianity is supposed to be. The man is truly an angel. He has the type of understanding and compassion that all ministers should have.

     Even during one of our church meetings, a long standing member boldly proclaimed that she once said under no circumstance would she ever leave the church, but if anyone tried to ban gays and lesbians from seeking Christ at our church by adding a clause to the bylaws to do such a thing, she would be the first one to walk away in shame of ever having been a member. This elderly woman deserved kudos and huge round of applause for having the courage to speak her mind the way she did.

     I had the privilege of being invited back to my old church by my sister, and I was extremely happy that I went. The pastor and the congregation made my homecoming an enjoyable experience. So in essence, it is possible for old dogs to be capable of new tricks, and all for the glory of God. With the changes that my Baptist church was willing to make to be more accepting of God’s other children, I am now dividing my time between two houses of worship.