Under Her Wings

INTRODUCTION

This tale is my personal Pilgrimage to Wholeness, according to the As Within, So Without Mysteries.  To read these pages is to venture forth on your own pilgrimage. Eons ago, Woman and Man journeyed into time and space to individuate, to explore and expand Creation.  We are now on our return journey Home to Source, gathering in all parts of Self that fragmented off in exploration.  In this doing and being, we, the Many, bring our treasures of discovery to the One Who becomes more because of our journey and our return.  It matters not what you think of what is written herein.  Dear pilgrim, it matters only that you re-member and come Home.

Allowing for the inevitable distortions of time, such as memory lapses and changeable perceptions, this story is true. Where readability warranted certain situations were condensed and various characters became composites of several real people. Often names, and sometimes places, dates, or sequences were fictionalized to honor the privacy of others and for story flow. In actuality, the story told itself, breaking through my resistances and insisting that it be recorded. Often what I thought I would write of my worldly journey into womanhood was quite different from that which pressed forth for expression. What I believed was significant to say paled as what needed to be said appeared on the pages. And what occurred as I wrote was the retrieval of soul fragments that split off on adventures, in trauma, or for love. 

            At times, what you read may offend your sensibilities or will be glamorized, misinterpreted, judged, or even condemned. Personally, I have difficulty speaking or writing some of my story, particularly regarding sexuality and my even more intimate discoveries of the divine. Yet there is freedom in reading and writing and in speaking and hearing what is considered unspeakable. So I ask you to journey forward with me that we might all be set free.

            Other times, you may be struck, as I am, by the way my entire life seems to have been orchestrated so I might write this Review of an Age, this reflection on an era of planetary awakening. Though an idealistic mid-westerner may seem an unlikely figure to gather shattered fragments of feminine and racial consciousness, who would be more in need of restoring the world of the Dark Madonna, the Magdalene, shunned for twenty centuries as whore? Yet, I could not piece my own life together until I saw it through the eyes of the Magdalene. Through her eyes, I could see how the sexual abuse I experienced in my childhood and the subsequent sexual addiction–combined with a deep need to love and be loved–opened me to discover sacred sexuality and to mend my soul, and thus, to assist in mending the collective soul of woman.  I invite you to help find the broken shards of this feminine vessel that must be restored–for only when woman is whole and complete unto herself can she receive a man in his authentic wholeness. 

The personal benefits of the retrieval, reflection, and integration process alone made the writing worth the time, energy, and emotion expended. I have tried to convince myself that this expenditure is enough and that I do not need to reveal so much to anyone else.  But I have chosen to surrender to the possibility that much of what you read will inspire you to shed conforming pretenses and embrace Life more fully.

           The men I have loved revealed intimate aspects of themselves never before shared with another. Yet, this is not an exposé. I am profoundly grateful to every one of them, including those playing perpetrator parts, for they allowed me to explore the multi-dimensionality of the human spirit and my own beingness. And, in telling this tale, I am sharing intimacies about myself that I have never shared with others. Please receive who we are in love.

            An escapade can be defined as a reckless adventure contrary to the rules of propriety. Indeed, I have been reckless in simply attempting to live life authentically. And I have certainly lived outside the cultural norm–often without conscious intent, and just as often, consciously, desperately, attempting to break free of normalcy, of cultural overlays that I might be real and live according to higher laws of Life and Love.   

            My passion is for Life itself, for Love that embraces All That Is and accepts Life on Life’s terms. I hope that my passion is contagious enough that you will journey forth on the path to wholeness!

            The rocky terrain is familiar. We travel through an era when man and woman succumbed solely to the masculine principle at great expense to all. To be a pilgrim on this journey, be you woman or man, you need the courage to call on your feminine nature for balance. Only then can humankind take its final steps Home. I am an ordinary woman taking these steps in these extraordinary times. Please take my hand. It is tiresome to travel alone.

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Softcover

£11.25