THERE'S A BOOGER IN THERE AND OTHER LITTLE AUDREY STORIES

Recently baby Audrey had a bad cold. I have never heard of anyone having a good cold.   Her mom used a tissue to clean the mucous lava flow that covered her nose and upper lip.  And as all children do, Audrey turned her head and used her hands and arms as weapons to ward off the dreaded tissue.  Why do children do that?  I know it is because after several blows the tissue rubs the nose and it hurts. Do children have genetic traits to avoid nose blowing? Yes! Are they automatically obstreperous or just snotty by nature?  Get it?  Snotty!  I remember the little rubber bulb we used to remove substances from the noses of our daughters.  They hated that also.

Finally, TM got a large deposit out of Audrey’s nose so she could breathe easier.  She went back a second time with the same tissue and Audrey emphatically stated, “No! There is a booger in there.”  The story does not end there.  Here are two more booger stories

One morning TM went in to greet Audrey and the new day.  Lying in her bed Audrey was moving her lips, screwing up her face and making a variety of facial expressions.  TM asked, “What are you doing, Audrey?”  To which Audrey replied, “I’m trying to eat a booger!”

You know what her mommy did next.  She went through a long litany of why we don’t eat boogers instead we place them in a tissue and throw them into the wastebasket.  Boogers are not good to eat.  They are dirty.  Genteel and polite people do not eat them.

A few days later Audrey came walking down the hallway and reached out her hand to her mom.  As all moms do, she reached out and took what Audrey was offering.  Guess what it was?  It was a big, crusty, brownish black booger. It was as large as a Sunsweet prune.  She was just trying to do what her mom had taught her to do.  Don’t eat it, put it in a tissue and throw it away.  She didn’t have a tissue so guess who got it?  That’s right, Mom.  At least she did not eat it.  Another small victory in the Booger war.