Moccasins in the Snow

“I don’t expect you to fully understand,” he said solemnly. “I hardly understood it myself. All my life I’ve been searching for a place to fit in comfortably. I’ve tried the white man’s world, so to speak, and found it filled with nothing but greed.  Yet I’ve seen these same greedy men go out and die for the freedom of other men, under the pretext that all men are born free and created equal.  For a while I believed them, until I saw the hypocrisy of their turning on my people who have lived freely on land that rightfully belonged to them for generations, breaking treaty after treaty and stripping them of their freedom and dignity and forcing them to live on reservations.  Their so-called idea of freedom consisted of conforming to their way of thinking and their beliefs.  God knows, I’m not a heroic man, Abigail, but there comes a time in one’s life when you have to make a stand and be counted for what you believe in.  Day after tomorrow we’re leaving to join my mother’s people to help in any way that we can.”

The mistreatment of Indians on reservations was common knowledge; she knew what lay in store for them. “And. . .and this is what you will subject Mary to, life on a reservation?  How, in the name of God, can you do this to her?”

 The muscles in his jaw line tightened in anger. “I suppose you think your world would be better suited for her.  You can bring her up as a refined lady; a lady that no white man would marry. Is that what you want for her?  People will shun her because she is different. I’ve seen what my mother has suffered all these years and it’s not going to happen to Mary.  She’ll be raised with people who will love and fully accept her and be proud of her heritage.”

“Please, Jason,” Abigail begged, “don’t do this, not now.  Let me at least get to know her. I lost her three years ago; please, for the love of God, don’t let me lose her again.  I don’t think I could stand it.”

He drew in a sharp breath on hearing the pain in her voice. “Why prolong it, Abigail?” he softly murmured.  “Getting to know her would only make your suffering that much harder.  My decision is final; we’ll be leaving the day after tomorrow at sun up. If you think about it, you’ll know it’s for the best.  Now if you don’t mind, I have work to do.”

The finality in his words had brought tears to her eyes and out of desolation she turned to leave.  “Oh, God,” she bitterly wept. “What have I done to deserve such punishment?”