stella's funcke

preface

life is a funny thing.  it’s seems all a trance when life appears to be going so poorly when you miss the blessing….

you miss the talent….

you miss the gift…

you just miss.

but the only real thing that is missing is you.  somewhere along the way we got lost…each of us…in the trancetic rhythm of an unfulfilling life.  we bought into the deception and lies of who we are supposed to be and not who we really are.  we stopped reaching deeply inside and chose the shallowness of a world so destined to destroy itself. we became a part of the destruction. 

what is to become of us?  well, we have a choice.  we can continue to feed and empower all the ritualistic ideals of some man who defined you that you chose to be or you can reach inside…look deeper and see that each person you see daily is your reason for living.  none other. 

you can chose to empower whom you believe is lesser.  you can choose to free your convictions that you purchased from a dime store. 

look in the mirror  and realize that i am you.  you are me.  and together we either create or we destroy.

come take a journey with me and find you.  this is stella’s funcke.

a woman’s point of view

there’s a certain flavor of uncanny sadness when we are around each other.  i feel a sense of regret for the bad times we’ve been having.  no one can fully blame the other because together we ruined this relationship.  there is a little hope.  there is a small glimpse of light. what to do with it is the lingering question.  do we let if fade through time or try to increase its brightness into something magnificent.

the fear i felt inside comes from many things.  yes, some have come from many things.  yes, some have something to do with you.  there are a few things missing in our relationship.  i would categorize them as trust, understanding and communication.

trust…a one-syllable word with five letters that can ruin a nation.  it means a lot to me, more than words can describe of how important you trusting me is.  i dare not proclaim to be perfect enough to convince you that i am and always will be faithful until you come to a basic and convincing point in yourself that these words are true, then the aim of trust will never be achieved.  i sit and wonder that if i’m giving of myself to another, then what is he getting? is he getting my time? is he getting my money?  is he riding in my car?  is he making love to me is he…?

understanding.  there is a great lack of.  i don’t understand anymore.  i stopped understanding the day you picked me up and threw me over the couch.  that’s when i stopped understanding and tried so hard to.  that’s when it all started.  my memories of my childhood since birth.  i stopped trying to make excuses for the men that had entered my life and damaged me.  i stopped accepting excuses for the men in my life that gave me the excuses for the damaged they had done.