I'M GLAD I LIVED

Wednesday evening did finally arrive.  From my home near Lakeland, Florida, where I worked in our dairy between revival meetings I was conducting, to her house at Lithia was some 20 miles, then another 15 miles back to Mt. Zion.  My elation was interrupted when I discovered the bridge across the Alafia River was out.  I took the detour back through Durant and over to Bloomingdale, and on unfamiliar roads searched for a route to Lithia.

Arriving late and additionally nervous, I knocked on her front door.  She came out and announced that her friend from Hawaii, who had been a schoolmate in Sevierville, Tennessee, had arrived for an unexpected visit and would like to accompany us.  I agreed it would be fine, even though my spirits dropped further.  I thought, “Of all times for her to visit!  My first date!”

We three headed back via the long detour route to Mt. Zion.  The anxiousness of the first date, the unexpected detour and “three’s a crowd,” all contributed, I’m sure, to an unwelcome call of nature.  I stopped at a corner farm supply store in the Turkey Creek community, went in and asked for the you know what, was directed right back out the front door in full view of my two passengers, and around back of the building.  I could only imagine what the girls might be thinking.

The only plus I could come up with was the fact that with three people in the front seat of the car, at least I was sitting very close to the girl of my dreams.  Had I known what next was to befall me, I might have found an excuse to turn around, take the girls back home and then hunt a place to hide for the next several days.

Fortunately, for the late arrivers, the song and testimony service, in which most everyone sang (and preached), was still in progress 40 minutes after starting time.  One could only expect all eyes to turn to the front door as Ernest, Junell and her school-mate entered.  Since this would be the first time that some of our church folks had seen Junell, I was overly excited about “showing her off.”  My concern, however, was what reaction, if any, to expect from an all-white congregation to our beautiful, but very dark-skinned Hawaiian guest.

But soon I would be in the pulpit ready to display my God-given preaching ability.  That, I assured myself, would allay the concerns of my fellow members and hopefully delight my new-found girlfriend.  With more than one hundred people present, the pastor stood to announce the young, home-town, local church, fire-ball evangelist, the Reverend Ernest Holbrook.  Little did I consider at the moment the scripture that says in Proverbs 16:18, “Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall!”

The podium area of old Mr. Zion was an elevated platform some two feet above the floor level and was enclosed front and sides with a decorative railing.  It was constructed of 2 X 4’s and draped with a beautiful cloth covering.  Being boisterous in the pulpit in those days in our church circles was a sure divine indication of God’s approval and anointing.  Commotion and emotion, combined with fast, loud oratory, gained audience approval and evoked responsive “Amens!”

I took my cue and engaged in the accepted ritual of abundant exuberance.  With this supposed unction from the Holy One, I was past the scripture reading, subject announcement and introduction, and well into my sermon when it happened!

What the Holy One or no one else had told me was that the pulpit railing had been removed for the Christmas program and had only been temporarily propped up until a more convenient moment when it would be re-anchored.  I abruptly moved from behind the lectern, and leaned heavily against the railing while endeavoring to rail home my first point.  The next moment, in humpty-dumpty fashion, down came the railing, Ernest, and all.

When I came to my wits I realized I was hanging in midair across the railing which had fallen to the platform floor by the lectern, but was still standing full height at the corner.  I couldn’t reach the floor forwards, or backwards.  But before help arrived, I had managed to rock back and forth until I regained my footing.

Amidst shock, giggles and apologies from those responsible for the temporariness of the rail situation, I could sense my face was very flushed and my sermon gone!

*****

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