Carruthers Down Under

Carruthers ignored Michael and tried to collect his fragmented thoughts. What have I been missing? There was the noise outside the hotel in the Hunter, the attacks on my life, getting locked in the Wolfblass cellar … and was it Kim at the football game? Oh gawd, he thought, how could I have been so stupid?

“Michael, that girl that you entertained while I was in New Zealand ..”

“Yeah?”

“Was she slim and beautiful?”

“Yeah.”

“Did she have long, straight, jet black hair?”

“Yeah,” Michael replied, getting more and more anxious.

“And could she do this?” Carruthers asked, demonstrating a cartwheel and handspring combination, ending with Carruthers doing a handstand against the wall.

“Why yes.”

‘And was she naked at the time?”

“Uh huh.”

“And could she do this?” he asked again. This time he did a forward handspring, a backward handspring, then a forward roll, ending with an incredible skyward leap, catching the bedroom door frame and using it to swing through the air.

“Uh huh.”

“And could she do this?” Carruthers asked, as he dropped from the door frame and moved back against the far wall. He cleared a path to the bedroom and then began his floor exercise. He did a cartwheel, then a forward handspring into the bedroom, used the tailboard of the bed as a vaulting horse, executed a forward flip in mid-air and landed in the “splits” position.

Michael was excited. “No she didn’t, but I’ll have to ask her next time!”

“Michael!” Carruthers yelled, tugging on his shirt to get his attention, “was her name Kim?”

“Yes!”

“Kim Doo Yoo?”

“Uh, well, .. you see, … now that’s a personal question.”

Carruthers let go of Michael’s shirt in disgust. “Michael, you’ve been had.”

“I’ll say.”