C.B. Says

One day as I was waking up from a nice, long nap, I heard our T.V. on in the living room.  I stretched and jumped off the bed and wandered into the living room.  There was Sinatra, sitting on the sofa, eating popcorn.  I sat there and stared at him.  I looked at the television.  He was watching Pet Hospital.  I decided to join him.  I jumped up onto the sofa and grabbed a paw full of popcorn.  “Mmmm.  This is good.  I love lots of butter”.  Sinatra nodded.  “Yeah, me too”.

“They wander the streets, looking for hand-outs;  they sell their belongings;  they beg for food.  Cats on Catnip -- next Oprah”.  “Ooh, is that coming on next”?  Sinatra nodded again.  “Yep.  Oprah is supposed to have cats on who got hooked on catnip and got help”.  I said: “Are these homeless cats”?  Sinatra shrugged.  “Don’t know;  maybe”.  I shook my head.  “You just don’t know how good we all have it here.  Winky told me really awful stories about when he was on the street.  Did you know his previous owner put him out”?  Sinatra’s eyes got as big as saucers.  “I didn’t know that”.  “Yep”, I said.  “He had to hide under cars, go into garbage cans for food, drink from puddles to get water, and because he doesn’t have any claws he couldn’t really defend himself.  You never knew our Grandpop.  We used to live in this big house, right down the street from this apartment.  Grandpop used to feed Winky and a few other cats that he hung around with.  Then one year we had a real bad ice storm and Grandpop felt bad for him and took him in.  Winky lost his eye by getting into a fight with another big ugly cat that used to hang around Grandpop’s yard”.  Sinatra was totally blown away by all of this.  “Gee, now I feel bad for chasing the poor guy”!  I smirked.  “Yeah, but that won’t stop you, will it”?  “Nope!  It’s one of the things I live for”!

Oprah came on, and we got quiet to watch.  Oprah had four cats on her show.  Two were from good homes, and the other two didn’t have homes but now they live in a shelter.  They all got hooked on catnip.  (Gee, guess any of us could have that problem at any time.)  They told their stories, one at a time.  I watched Sinatra’s face.  He was really into this show!  Mommy buys us toys with catnip in them, but I don’t think that’s the same thing as what these cats went through.  One of them even had to see a doctor – Oprah called it a sighkiatrist.  I have to ask Mommy how to spell that word!  The two cats who were homeless would break into houses and steal other cats’ toys with catnip in them.  Then they couldn’t get enough of it, so they started buying from catnip dealers!  Holy crap!  I didn’t even know there WERE catnip dealers in the world.

After the show was over Sinatra was awfully quiet.  “What’s on your mind, boonie head”?  Sinatra said:  “Wonder how Winky would act with pure catnip”?  I rolled my eyes.  “Sinatra, you just LOVE creating trouble, don’t ya”?  Sinatra giggled.  “Come on; don’t you think it would be fun to watch”?  I folded my paws and shook my head.  “I don’t know; that’s awfully dangerous.  How do we know how much to let him play with?  And where would we get it anyway”?  Sinatra patted my paws.  “You just leave it to me; I’ll get it”.