Every Woman's Fear

In, Every Woman’s Fear, a real life fiction/non-fiction drama set in California and the icy shores of Maine. This story forces you to think and feel about what rape really means. What rape can do to you inside and out? It makes you think about fear; makes you smell fear, and makes you hate fear.

My character is violently raped, and tortured in the mind as well as body. This story will take you as the reader into her pain and suffering and indecision. Alessa is raped while on vacation in Palm Springs, the crime is eventually reported but the investigation is dropped. She goes through a recovery period with no therapy. The rape destroys her marriage and leaves her single with two children.

She meets a British man and he awakens feelings inside of her that she thought were long gone. She explores this in her mind and is afraid of what she is feeling and therefore chooses not to deal with it. She leans on a small support group of best friends for advice and communication. It is a very cohesive group.  She appears to be very strong, and confident, successful, but it is only a façade. She is terrified and thinks about Bill and is ashamed. Why? She wants to know why?

Bill is rich and obsessed, and a borderline racist. He tolerates people of other races; he is torn with having these unexplained, uncontrollable feelings for a woman of another race and hates himself for it. He doesn’t know what he is feeling and is very angry inside about it. He hasn’t felt this way before and wants to punish her for it. He rapes her because he can. He finds her again because like the light at the end of the tunnel he is drawn to what he cannot ignore. He punishes her because she denies him, and because he is better than she is. He takes what he wants in life and does whatever he feels because he can.

He is controlling and a little bit on the psychotic side. He tracks her down through police records. Blackmails her, threatens her children and family members. She makes a decision to go back with him to Newport Beach, CA.  She is kept as his maid, his housekeeper, his slave, is mistress. She suffers, she is terrified at all times and not thinking clearly. The police show up, and she protects him, her children and herself. She stays and says nothing. She stays and he forces her to get married. She stays and may very well end up being pregnant. She stays knowing that there is nothing more worse then Bill hating black people, but to actually produce a black offspring, he will probably try and kill her. Then to let her reproduce.

While growing up I really enjoyed reading books. I could sit and read for hours. I first started writing songs mainly rap music. I would write both short and long ones. I even made an actual demo tape before with my rap songs. I would write short songs for talent shows that my son wanted to participate in. I would also write short stories to read to my son each night. That is how I actually started to realize it was time to take this writing business to another level. I was born in Seaside, California. I grew up in California, both my husband and boys are also California natives. We now reside in Ohio. Writing just comes to me unfortunately at any given time. I would jump out of bed in the middle of the night and write down thoughts that pop into my head. The next day I would sit at the computer in our office and complete a portion of a story. Sometimes it would be a couple of paragraphs. The majority of the time it would be chapters. This happens all of the time, while driving, restaurants, at work, anywhere at anytime. I usually have about 3 different stories that I could be working on at one time. About 7 other story ideas that I’ve briefly touched on, but haven’t had the time to sit and write them out. Although once I have the idea, the entire story is just sitting inside of my mind waiting for me to add it to paper. I can’t actually explain it, but it just happens that way.